As the most perceptive of you have no doubt noticed the heading and description of this blog has now changed. With the World Cup over one must move on, but in what direction?
*Stay with Soccer?--Not when the three authors of this page live at great distance from intense rivalries and passion (Unless you count Chicago V. LA or Goa V. Dehli) with even fewer opportunities to watch soccer on a regular basis. (Law Student/Grad Student/English Teacher...these are not the careers designed for cable subscriptions)
*Broaden our range to all sports?--Possible, but again, unless there's a rabid audience out there for commentary on Cricket/hopeless college programs think again.
*Broaden our range to all topics, just so long as we can bicker about them?--Now there's an idea we can get behind.
Conveniently enough I've just read a book that could start debates at least between ourselves and perhaps among others as well. How Soccer Explains the World by Franklin Foer is superbly written, eloquent, charming, personal and intelligent. It chronicles the development of socer aorund the world and it's relationship to the new global culture exploring the struggles of hooligans, the corruption of leaders (including a prediction of the fall of Juventus/AC Milan before it happened), and the opportunities now afforded to Africans, Arabs and Americans.
It's the last one that I want to mention. Foer mentions that the class/culture struggles in the U.s. can be traced (in part) to a schism between Liberal/ Yuppie/ East & West Coast/ Elitest/ Smug/ Globalized/ Soccer Fans, and Conservitive/Red Neck/ Fly over Country/ Down home/ Countryified/ Insular/ Fans of everything else. This is a simplification of course, but it's an interesting point (and besides, this is a blog, simplification is my bread and butter).
I read this and became befuddled (a nice change from my normally fuddled state), I've always lived in "Fly over country," and I like to think of myself as down-home, countryified and an Uber-fan of all things baseball/College basketball. But after thinking about it, I am hyper-liberal, upper-crust and so Gloablized that I'm part of an outsourcing of teaching positions. So naturally there's a middle ground.
So my question, veering from Soccer to everything else is this: "Can those of us with dual personalities (Red Staters with liberal beliefs and standards/Blue Staters with traditional beliefs and standards) bring harmony based on what we know and understand about both sides of the issue or are we doomed to be fenced in by Barbara Striesand on one side and the ever expanding mustache of Denny Rehberg (R-MT) on the other?"
Put it another way: "If the Moderates challenged the extremists to an atheletic olympiad who would win?" Given of course a moderate team of: Jon Stewart, Joe Biden, John McCain (maybe) and 80% of the populace against left-wing radicals led by: that white guy in College with dredlocks and a 5 foot aura of funk around him and 80 % of Hollywood, and right-wing radicals led by: The honorable Rev. Falwell and the 5 foot aura of funky bigotry around him and of course Denny Rheberg's stache.
Discuss.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
3 AM
So, living in India (Cricket hotbed of the world) I was surprised to find that they are just as stunned at the growing popularity of Soccer as we are in the states. Thoguh perhaps, the shouldn't be.
I was in the last throes of jetlag, semi-conscious and completely haggard when I was invited by a few native Indians who work at my new School to watch the match (at midnight local time), naturally I said yes. We were joined by two brits and later went over the match in detail with Canucks, Aussies and Kiwis (people normally obsessed with hockey and rugby).
Nevertheless there was just as much passion, joy and dismay at Zizou's jackassedness at 3 AM in a tiny town in India as there was on the Champs d'Elysses or at any Italian Piazza (except for maybe Mike).
Sure it would have been great to see Les Blus pull it off, but I'm just jetlagged enough that I'm happier to focus on fans and our glee than on the actual match itself.
Much love to all
Ben
I was in the last throes of jetlag, semi-conscious and completely haggard when I was invited by a few native Indians who work at my new School to watch the match (at midnight local time), naturally I said yes. We were joined by two brits and later went over the match in detail with Canucks, Aussies and Kiwis (people normally obsessed with hockey and rugby).
Nevertheless there was just as much passion, joy and dismay at Zizou's jackassedness at 3 AM in a tiny town in India as there was on the Champs d'Elysses or at any Italian Piazza (except for maybe Mike).
Sure it would have been great to see Les Blus pull it off, but I'm just jetlagged enough that I'm happier to focus on fans and our glee than on the actual match itself.
Much love to all
Ben
Monday, July 10, 2006
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
And then there were two...
Two snooty, vaguely irritating European countries vying for Soccer supremacy (PINCH ME!).
All in all that was some pretty exhilarating futball to see during the semis. And though most of Germany/Italy was a snoozefest, the final surges by both sides where extremely dramatic. Meanwhile, the shockingly clean calls issued by everyone's least favorite Uruguayan (the same one who hosed the US against Italy) allowed France and Portugal to play open and free. Sure there were moments of absolute terror for anyone rooting against the Flopper's Final (i.e. any moment the ball went towards Fabien Barthez) but by and large this has been a set up for some (hopefully) fantastic final matches.
Sure, there were still moments that were, quite simply, UG-ly. Sure it was hard to hear Dave O'Brien talk about Odonkor's "flaming red boots," and the 45 second close up on Frank Ribery was completely overkill. But those fleeting seconds are easily forgotten when you watch Zidane continue a magical run towards retirement and when you savor the Italian team's reenactment of Ceaser's death every few minutes.
And in true world class tournament fashion 7 beloved friends and I tore our hair out diagramming every possible match to arrive at finals that included neither Italy nor France, my beloved friend Jeff said quite simply and plainly: "France." That was his one pick, nothing more and nothing less, just "France." So ladies and gentlemen, take it from my pal the Air Force pilot and repeat after me: "Allez les Blus!" Allez Zizou! Allez Henry! Allez Ribery!
ALLEZ FUTBALL!
All in all that was some pretty exhilarating futball to see during the semis. And though most of Germany/Italy was a snoozefest, the final surges by both sides where extremely dramatic. Meanwhile, the shockingly clean calls issued by everyone's least favorite Uruguayan (the same one who hosed the US against Italy) allowed France and Portugal to play open and free. Sure there were moments of absolute terror for anyone rooting against the Flopper's Final (i.e. any moment the ball went towards Fabien Barthez) but by and large this has been a set up for some (hopefully) fantastic final matches.
Sure, there were still moments that were, quite simply, UG-ly. Sure it was hard to hear Dave O'Brien talk about Odonkor's "flaming red boots," and the 45 second close up on Frank Ribery was completely overkill. But those fleeting seconds are easily forgotten when you watch Zidane continue a magical run towards retirement and when you savor the Italian team's reenactment of Ceaser's death every few minutes.
And in true world class tournament fashion 7 beloved friends and I tore our hair out diagramming every possible match to arrive at finals that included neither Italy nor France, my beloved friend Jeff said quite simply and plainly: "France." That was his one pick, nothing more and nothing less, just "France." So ladies and gentlemen, take it from my pal the Air Force pilot and repeat after me: "Allez les Blus!" Allez Zizou! Allez Henry! Allez Ribery!
ALLEZ FUTBALL!
Monday, July 03, 2006
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Say it ain't sew, Zizou
On a day when old Golden Balls (age 33) calls it quits as captain of the England Team, when Cafu's (age 38?) dream of captaining his third World Cup Champion dies and on a day when Jesse Orosco (age 7,230) only struck out 2 in his semi-pro league, let us give a tilt of the beret and a swig of the Cabernet to Zizou.
I have a long-standing man-crush on Zinadine Zidane, ever since his electricfying performance in the 1998 world cup final, he's been the one player in the world on who's game I tried to model my own. His composure in midfield, the way he holds his position and excells at all the little things. I've always aspired to play that way. He was the best player on either field in Germany yesterday, and he should be something special to watch the rest of the tournament.
I think he will gracefully call it quits whether they win the world cup or not, he's not going to pull an MJ. But still, it's kind of sad to see him go when he's dominating games like this.
Whatever he decides to do after the tournament is ultimately immaterial, because the next two games he plays will be what matters. Enjoy them. *silent tear*
Saturday, July 01, 2006
A River Runs Through this Post
A river of absurdly unnecessary metaphors, but a river never the less.
In order to concur with my Norman Maclean-esque friend I have to point out a few things for everyone sitting back in horror at the prospect of an all Euro final four, and all those gasping in pain at the absence of Brasilia.
It became pretty clear within 90 minutes that the Brazil we had all come to expect in World Cup play had stayed home, sending animatronic recreations to Germany in their place. It was like watching the Walt Disney Hall of Presidents, jerky, static and completely unlike their real life counterparts.
The cliche is that a team works like a well oiled machine. The only problem with using that cliche in soccer is that machinery doesn't do the beautiful game justice. Poets do not use drill presses. (Though, you might want to check with Brent (the real poet) on that one).
So the Hall of Brazilians survived Croatia, Australia and Japan (an average though not challenging dead eyed tour group) but it was clear that they were aging. In need of a visit from "imagineers" as it were. Their flaws failed to impress the rascally Ghanaians who wreaked havoc like toddlers in the Magic Kingdom until nap time came and they went to sleep. But it held no power over the disaffected French who sat back in teenager form snobbily dismissing all the squeaking hinges. (Are you sick of that metaphor yet?)
My point is, Brazil is not in the semi-finals because (as Brent pointed out) they didn't play well enough to earn a position in the semi-finals, neither did England (or flop happy Portugal for that matter, but that's for an angrier post). There's still some beautiful football to be played, and in order to have that happen in this World Cup (as it was in most others) you have to trim the underperforming teams down until the best remain. We still have to excise the malignant, collapsing tumors from Italy and Portugal, and make do with a fairly frustrating French side, but we still have California Klinsi and the Huns to root for.
So raise a glass of whatever you're sipping on to the fine tuned, German-engineered scoring ma...chine...DANG IT! Well, cheer for them anyway, and try to come up with a better descriptor of their playing style (I'll buy you candy).
Ben
In order to concur with my Norman Maclean-esque friend I have to point out a few things for everyone sitting back in horror at the prospect of an all Euro final four, and all those gasping in pain at the absence of Brasilia.
It became pretty clear within 90 minutes that the Brazil we had all come to expect in World Cup play had stayed home, sending animatronic recreations to Germany in their place. It was like watching the Walt Disney Hall of Presidents, jerky, static and completely unlike their real life counterparts.
The cliche is that a team works like a well oiled machine. The only problem with using that cliche in soccer is that machinery doesn't do the beautiful game justice. Poets do not use drill presses. (Though, you might want to check with Brent (the real poet) on that one).
So the Hall of Brazilians survived Croatia, Australia and Japan (an average though not challenging dead eyed tour group) but it was clear that they were aging. In need of a visit from "imagineers" as it were. Their flaws failed to impress the rascally Ghanaians who wreaked havoc like toddlers in the Magic Kingdom until nap time came and they went to sleep. But it held no power over the disaffected French who sat back in teenager form snobbily dismissing all the squeaking hinges. (Are you sick of that metaphor yet?)
My point is, Brazil is not in the semi-finals because (as Brent pointed out) they didn't play well enough to earn a position in the semi-finals, neither did England (or flop happy Portugal for that matter, but that's for an angrier post). There's still some beautiful football to be played, and in order to have that happen in this World Cup (as it was in most others) you have to trim the underperforming teams down until the best remain. We still have to excise the malignant, collapsing tumors from Italy and Portugal, and make do with a fairly frustrating French side, but we still have California Klinsi and the Huns to root for.
So raise a glass of whatever you're sipping on to the fine tuned, German-engineered scoring ma...chine...DANG IT! Well, cheer for them anyway, and try to come up with a better descriptor of their playing style (I'll buy you candy).
Ben
Friday, June 30, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Down goes Frazier! (I mean Elin)
It's time for a pre-quarterfinals updating of our standings, with a major shake up in the works. (4 points for each quarter final team correctly predicted)
Name [Previous Pts./QF Teams/New point totals]
Brent McCafferty --70/5/90
Elin Ljung --74/3/86
Simon MacKenzie --61/5/81
Matt MacKenzie --56/6/80
Ben MacKenzie --60/4/76
Bruce MacKenzie --57/4/73
Brandon McCafferty --53/4/68
Krista Johnson --52/4/67
And just like that Elin Ljung's reign of terror is OVER! Long live our new despot, Brent McCafferty! Sadly, Elin's run in the pool has come to a very sudden conclusion. All of her remaining predictions for semi-finalists through champion have been eliminated. On the other hand, Brandon McCafferty may be near the bottom of the standings but he still has all of his semi-finalists remaining, and he's at the top of St. Olaf College's Most Eligible Bachelor list, so feel free to congrulate/mock him accordingly.
Name [Previous Pts./QF Teams/New point totals]
Brent McCafferty --70/5/90
Elin Ljung --74/3/86
Simon MacKenzie --61/5/81
Matt MacKenzie --56/6/80
Ben MacKenzie --60/4/76
Bruce MacKenzie --57/4/73
Brandon McCafferty --53/4/68
Krista Johnson --52/4/67
And just like that Elin Ljung's reign of terror is OVER! Long live our new despot, Brent McCafferty! Sadly, Elin's run in the pool has come to a very sudden conclusion. All of her remaining predictions for semi-finalists through champion have been eliminated. On the other hand, Brandon McCafferty may be near the bottom of the standings but he still has all of his semi-finalists remaining, and he's at the top of St. Olaf College's Most Eligible Bachelor list, so feel free to congrulate/mock him accordingly.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
The Elite-ish Eight
With another round in the books and the numbers cut in half once again, I have to sit back and marvel at something.
Sports without upsets stinks.
That's probably the reason I get fired up when the Pirates beat the Cardinals. That's why I sort of stop watching March Madness after the first weekend. Once things go as planned it's a little disappointing.
In 2002 we were 180 minutes away from South Korea Versus Turkey for the World Cup (180 very long, unlikely minutes, but still). We had Senegal and a shocking run from the U.s. it was fun to watch the unexpected.
So, naturally, it's less fun when "traditional powers" win their way through to the quarterfinals. It's easy to predict that Brazil/France/England/Germany/Argentina/Italy will be in the quarters. Any layman can do that. It's far more entertaining to root for a Ukraine/Ghana final.
The most inspired and entertaining sides I've seen this year are gone (except Argentina). Spain went from five halves of brilliance to toast (again) in 10 minutes. Ecuador started with 4 goals and none allowed and then seemed embarrassed of their success and ran to their own third to hide (only Germany and England wouldn't let them). Australia soared for 11 minutes, and then staggered around like a dingo following a liter of Fosters.
And oh, Ghana. How I love thee. How much Fufu have I eaten? How much Hip-life have I heard? How many times have I remembered cabbies and cops, professors and students yelling and screaming "Black Stars! Black Stars are sooooo Goood!" They out-Braziled Brazil for close to 30 minutes today, winning balls, getting great attacks built up, crossing the ball with authority and playing with a flair that Brazil themselves seem to have left in Rio. Then their coach was tossed, and they spent the second half showing flashes of greatness, but also showing fatigue. They lost by a bigger margin than any other team in this round, and yet they probably played better soccer than several winning teams (England/Portugal/Italy/Ukraine).
It might not be as entertaining or exciting the rest of the way, but we'll always have the memories of the great and exciting sides (and we also still have a chance at getting huckleberry shakes out of Brent, which is certainly something to root for).
Ben
Sports without upsets stinks.
That's probably the reason I get fired up when the Pirates beat the Cardinals. That's why I sort of stop watching March Madness after the first weekend. Once things go as planned it's a little disappointing.
In 2002 we were 180 minutes away from South Korea Versus Turkey for the World Cup (180 very long, unlikely minutes, but still). We had Senegal and a shocking run from the U.s. it was fun to watch the unexpected.
So, naturally, it's less fun when "traditional powers" win their way through to the quarterfinals. It's easy to predict that Brazil/France/England/Germany/Argentina/Italy will be in the quarters. Any layman can do that. It's far more entertaining to root for a Ukraine/Ghana final.
The most inspired and entertaining sides I've seen this year are gone (except Argentina). Spain went from five halves of brilliance to toast (again) in 10 minutes. Ecuador started with 4 goals and none allowed and then seemed embarrassed of their success and ran to their own third to hide (only Germany and England wouldn't let them). Australia soared for 11 minutes, and then staggered around like a dingo following a liter of Fosters.
And oh, Ghana. How I love thee. How much Fufu have I eaten? How much Hip-life have I heard? How many times have I remembered cabbies and cops, professors and students yelling and screaming "Black Stars! Black Stars are sooooo Goood!" They out-Braziled Brazil for close to 30 minutes today, winning balls, getting great attacks built up, crossing the ball with authority and playing with a flair that Brazil themselves seem to have left in Rio. Then their coach was tossed, and they spent the second half showing flashes of greatness, but also showing fatigue. They lost by a bigger margin than any other team in this round, and yet they probably played better soccer than several winning teams (England/Portugal/Italy/Ukraine).
It might not be as entertaining or exciting the rest of the way, but we'll always have the memories of the great and exciting sides (and we also still have a chance at getting huckleberry shakes out of Brent, which is certainly something to root for).
Ben
Sunday, June 25, 2006
An open challenge
Having just finished with the tragedy and triumph that was Portugal V. Holland, your friendly neighborhood impish writer (the one who always tries to look on the bright side of soccer) has been rendered as speechless as a teenager in the presence of Jessica Alba, or Mother Theresa in the presence of Abu Gharaib, or Dennis Miller in the absence of his "Dictionary of Obscure References."
I always like to compliment what's good and upstanding, and "neat-o" (as my mother says) about soccer. After watching this last match, I'm having trouble figuring out precisely what is "neat-o" anymore.
It wasn't the record-tying 16 yellow cards.
It wasn't the hamfisted acting of the Portuguese side (the worst since Ashton Kutcher first stumbled in front of a camera).
It wasn't the offensive inaptitude of Dirk Kuyt (in a performance not even worthy of an MLS contract).
It wasn't the poor sportsmanship, or crude "challenges," or embarrassing time wasting tactics.
I can't think of anything beautiful that sprung from this dirt clod of a game. There's nothing left to do now except try and erase it from my mind and take a shower before Italy/Australia. Honestly, if anyone can think of something beautiful, enjoyable or worthwhile from this game, let me know...I'd like to hear what you think that might be. Heck, I'll even buy a huckleberry shake for whomever comes up with an appropriate answer.
Happy hunting,
Ben
I always like to compliment what's good and upstanding, and "neat-o" (as my mother says) about soccer. After watching this last match, I'm having trouble figuring out precisely what is "neat-o" anymore.
It wasn't the record-tying 16 yellow cards.
It wasn't the hamfisted acting of the Portuguese side (the worst since Ashton Kutcher first stumbled in front of a camera).
It wasn't the offensive inaptitude of Dirk Kuyt (in a performance not even worthy of an MLS contract).
It wasn't the poor sportsmanship, or crude "challenges," or embarrassing time wasting tactics.
I can't think of anything beautiful that sprung from this dirt clod of a game. There's nothing left to do now except try and erase it from my mind and take a shower before Italy/Australia. Honestly, if anyone can think of something beautiful, enjoyable or worthwhile from this game, let me know...I'd like to hear what you think that might be. Heck, I'll even buy a huckleberry shake for whomever comes up with an appropriate answer.
Happy hunting,
Ben
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Standings
So here now are the final standings for the group stage of the MacKenzie Low Budget World Cup Pool
Remember 3 points for a correct score, 1 for a correct result, 0 for an incorrect prediction and -100 for being Montenegran.
Name [C.S/C.R./I./Points]
Elin Ljung --9/25/14/52
Brent McCafferty --10/18/20/48
Bruce MacKenzie --7/20/21/41
Ben MacKenzie --8/16/24/40
Simon MacKenzie --5/22/21/37
Brandon McCafferty --3/24/21/33
Krista Johnson --2/24/22/30
Matt MacKenzie --1/27/20/30
So Congrats to Elin for winning this stage of the pool, though you have to credit Brent with a major comeback cutting a once insurmountable lead down to a scant 4 points. Best of all this is only one part of the pool (cue the dramatic twist music).
We now move into the knockout stages where you get two points for every team you had in the sweet sixteen that actually made it, four points for each correct quarterfinalist, six for each correct semifinalist, eight for each correct finalist and 10 big fat points if you called the winner. Sadly, Krista and Elin have already lost their champion in the Czech Republic which means it's still, very much anybody's game. Here's the standings WITH points for Sweet Sixteens.
Name [1st Round Pts./Sweet 16 teams/Points]
Elin Ljung --52/11/74
Brent McCafferty --48/11/70
Simon MacKenzie --37/12/61
Ben MacKenzie --40/10/60
Bruce MacKenzie --41/8/57
Matt MacKenzie --30/13/56
Brandon McCafferty --33/10/53
Krista Johnson --30/11/52
And just like that Matt's back in the hunt. He has the most in the sweet 16 and all of his quarterfinalists still standing. However, Bruce, Elin and I are each down 3 quarterfinalists and at least one semifinalist (painful). The door is wide open...much like the Swedish defense (or lack thereof).
Ben
Remember 3 points for a correct score, 1 for a correct result, 0 for an incorrect prediction and -100 for being Montenegran.
Name [C.S/C.R./I./Points]
Elin Ljung --9/25/14/52
Brent McCafferty --10/18/20/48
Bruce MacKenzie --7/20/21/41
Ben MacKenzie --8/16/24/40
Simon MacKenzie --5/22/21/37
Brandon McCafferty --3/24/21/33
Krista Johnson --2/24/22/30
Matt MacKenzie --1/27/20/30
So Congrats to Elin for winning this stage of the pool, though you have to credit Brent with a major comeback cutting a once insurmountable lead down to a scant 4 points. Best of all this is only one part of the pool (cue the dramatic twist music).
We now move into the knockout stages where you get two points for every team you had in the sweet sixteen that actually made it, four points for each correct quarterfinalist, six for each correct semifinalist, eight for each correct finalist and 10 big fat points if you called the winner. Sadly, Krista and Elin have already lost their champion in the Czech Republic which means it's still, very much anybody's game. Here's the standings WITH points for Sweet Sixteens.
Name [1st Round Pts./Sweet 16 teams/Points]
Elin Ljung --52/11/74
Brent McCafferty --48/11/70
Simon MacKenzie --37/12/61
Ben MacKenzie --40/10/60
Bruce MacKenzie --41/8/57
Matt MacKenzie --30/13/56
Brandon McCafferty --33/10/53
Krista Johnson --30/11/52
And just like that Matt's back in the hunt. He has the most in the sweet 16 and all of his quarterfinalists still standing. However, Bruce, Elin and I are each down 3 quarterfinalists and at least one semifinalist (painful). The door is wide open...much like the Swedish defense (or lack thereof).
Ben
Friday, June 23, 2006
The best of the rest
So, at last we turn to the final groups and the final first round matches and the final retrospective look at the teams that have been and those that will be.
Least Likely to Succeed--
South Korea: Catching lightening in a bottle for the second consecutive cup was a lot easier said than done. And when your number one goal scoring threat sits on the bench for most of every match it's a lot harder to score. That said, you have to like the fact that South Korean fans have quickly become one of the most rabid breeds in the World (and yet, without the violence so common to countries other than the U.s.).
Togo: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of the Togolese national team. The Sparrow Hawks scored one goal in the first half of their first game and none afterwards. They were by no means embarrassing, but they were by no means among the best teams in the tournament either, so that's kind of sad. Hopefully they'll enjoy the glory of returning as national heroes...oh wait, that doesn't happen in oppressive regimes! I forgot.
Tunisia: The hard luck African side that always shows up and always goes home without a win. This was supposed to be the year, but the Carthage Eagles looked a lot more like the Carthage Cubs, and are going home early (according to Cubbie tradition).
Saudi Arabia: For all the complaints about Saudi Arabia's involvement in U.S. national affairs, I have to say, watching them stick it to a lazy Spain in the second half of today's match. Watching them string together passes and work as a unit, I'm willing to offer them a percent stock of U.s. Soccer if they're willing to teach us how to stay offensive in international situations. (Well...International SPORTING situations, we're plenty offensive in international situations already)
**
**
Most Likely to Succeed (except, not really)--
Switzerland: Big ups to the pacifists of the Cup. Even if they were a little bloodied today, even if they got a goal that shouldn't have been, the fought hard and survived match-ups with two great sides, and most impressively of all, they're the only side left not to surrender a goal. They could do well (they won't, but they could).
Ukraine: From disaster following a 4-0 loss to delight following two straight wins to escape the group stage it's been a major turn around for the Ukraine who have suddenly discovered a cake walk to the quarter finals so easy that it might as well be run by the United Church of Freebies.
France: Well, at long last Simon and I were treated to David Trezeguet actually playing soccer. And while he wasn't vital to the win over Togo, it was nice to see France finally play as we expected them to (if only for 30 minutes). Now they get Spain, and now they get to be rocked all over again.
Spain: It was nice to Spain finally play as I expected them to: lazily. Granted, they were already through. Granted, they could have put Ferdinand the bull on the field, let him sniff flowers and the Sons of the Desert probably still wouldn't have scored. Nevertheless, it was the poorest half of soccer that I've yet seen from Spain (it won't be repeated again, though if it is, there will go the hottest team in the cup).
It's on to the Sweet Sixteen and our Cinderfellas have been whittled down to Ecuador (with a good chance against an ailing and sporadic England), Ghana (with little to no chance versus Brazil), Australia (ditto versus Italy) and The Ukraine (see the afore mentioned walk of cakery). Brent listed the teams likely to win, and much as I love huckleberry shakes I'm obliged to admit that I doubt I will receive one. Still, it's a glorious game and I'm just happy to still be watching it all.
Much love to all of you winners, losers and substitutes who never got a chance,
Ben
Least Likely to Succeed--
South Korea: Catching lightening in a bottle for the second consecutive cup was a lot easier said than done. And when your number one goal scoring threat sits on the bench for most of every match it's a lot harder to score. That said, you have to like the fact that South Korean fans have quickly become one of the most rabid breeds in the World (and yet, without the violence so common to countries other than the U.s.).
Togo: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of the Togolese national team. The Sparrow Hawks scored one goal in the first half of their first game and none afterwards. They were by no means embarrassing, but they were by no means among the best teams in the tournament either, so that's kind of sad. Hopefully they'll enjoy the glory of returning as national heroes...oh wait, that doesn't happen in oppressive regimes! I forgot.
Tunisia: The hard luck African side that always shows up and always goes home without a win. This was supposed to be the year, but the Carthage Eagles looked a lot more like the Carthage Cubs, and are going home early (according to Cubbie tradition).
Saudi Arabia: For all the complaints about Saudi Arabia's involvement in U.S. national affairs, I have to say, watching them stick it to a lazy Spain in the second half of today's match. Watching them string together passes and work as a unit, I'm willing to offer them a percent stock of U.s. Soccer if they're willing to teach us how to stay offensive in international situations. (Well...International SPORTING situations, we're plenty offensive in international situations already)
**
**
Most Likely to Succeed (except, not really)--
Switzerland: Big ups to the pacifists of the Cup. Even if they were a little bloodied today, even if they got a goal that shouldn't have been, the fought hard and survived match-ups with two great sides, and most impressively of all, they're the only side left not to surrender a goal. They could do well (they won't, but they could).
Ukraine: From disaster following a 4-0 loss to delight following two straight wins to escape the group stage it's been a major turn around for the Ukraine who have suddenly discovered a cake walk to the quarter finals so easy that it might as well be run by the United Church of Freebies.
France: Well, at long last Simon and I were treated to David Trezeguet actually playing soccer. And while he wasn't vital to the win over Togo, it was nice to see France finally play as we expected them to (if only for 30 minutes). Now they get Spain, and now they get to be rocked all over again.
Spain: It was nice to Spain finally play as I expected them to: lazily. Granted, they were already through. Granted, they could have put Ferdinand the bull on the field, let him sniff flowers and the Sons of the Desert probably still wouldn't have scored. Nevertheless, it was the poorest half of soccer that I've yet seen from Spain (it won't be repeated again, though if it is, there will go the hottest team in the cup).
It's on to the Sweet Sixteen and our Cinderfellas have been whittled down to Ecuador (with a good chance against an ailing and sporadic England), Ghana (with little to no chance versus Brazil), Australia (ditto versus Italy) and The Ukraine (see the afore mentioned walk of cakery). Brent listed the teams likely to win, and much as I love huckleberry shakes I'm obliged to admit that I doubt I will receive one. Still, it's a glorious game and I'm just happy to still be watching it all.
Much love to all of you winners, losers and substitutes who never got a chance,
Ben
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Don't call it a deathknell
Another day, another eight teams finished with group play, and another drastic over reaction by American Sports Journalists.
"We stink!" "We're lousy!" "We have no talent!" "We can't play with the best teams in the world!" "We have to overcompensate for our lack of knowledge about this game with blind prejudice and increased volume!!!"
But if I may, please refer to the title of this post, a paraphrase of the late 20th century American philosopher, LL Cool J. This overeactionary attitude seems to be the sensibility following today's games, but rather than recite the vapid statements of Jackassitude that emanate from Sports Journalists today, let's fondly remember and admire the eight teams finished today.
In memoriam--
U.S.A.: Let's get the big boys out of the way first. We had one problem this World Cup (well two if you include the magical sprites that caused Rezak's Pimpong's collapse in the box this morning) a lack of urgency. Fall down by one goal to the Czechs, and suddenly you begin to wither, deferring to the point of calamity. Then you fall down farther and farther. Go up a man versus Italy and just knock it around until Mastroeni gets carded. At the end of the day it was philosophy that did us in, but it shouldn't be used as an indictment of our abilities on the pitch. More players are going abroad, and still more will follow. The game is growing in importance and being debated in corner bars and living rooms around the nation. We'll come back from this, and if we can finally get a little gift in terms of our group we should have a good chance of going farther the next time around.
Czech Republic: Ouch. Hard as it is to believe, the U.s. is not the most disappointed squad in Group E. The 2nd ranked Czechs collapsed like a flan in a cupboard (thanks Eddie Izzard). True they had no world class striker for the better part of three games, but still, going down without a goal in their last two matches is just plain harsh.
Japan: Watching the first 35 minutes against Brazil today it was clear what made Brent ooh and ahh over them. They have great creativity and chemistry, creating chances and capitalizing on mistakes. Then it became clear why they didn't go farther: they make bigger mistakes that other teams capitalize on. Tough luck, but they should be better in the future.
Croatia: As ever, the Croats are dead to me. Flipping to their match I still managed to see one tackle, one high kick and one hand ball (all in the box) that weren't called against them, thus making their match with the Socceroos much closer than it deserved to be. So once again Croatia, congratulations, I remember when I once only vaguely disliked you, but once again you are deader to me than Mr. Belding's acting career.
**
**
In Action--
Italy: Back in business and ain't it grand. The Azzuri are fashionable again and just in time for the summer season (they still flop more than a John Steinbeck euphemism, but that's not always a bad thing).
Australia: Phew! I thought the Socceroo's were finished during their battle with the dirty dirty Croats, but trust in Guus to get them on ahead. Their lack of genuine scoring panache still means they won't go father, but it's a big day in Australia.
Brazil: It took a goal from Japan to wake them up but it finally happened, and the boys from Rio finally looked like the side we all thought they would be. (And that was without Cafu/Adriano and a handful of others in the game.) And once again, big ups to Fatty for moving into a tie for first place on the All-Time World Cup scoring list (why don't you have a slice of celebratory cake?)
Ghana: I admit, I was awfully conflicted during the Black Stars match with the U.s. And honestly, I'm a trifle peeved that they won on a cheeky penalty. It's not to say that they wouldn't have won or advanced anyway, but this just gives everyone a reason to overlook them as a talented side and takes a lot of the glamour out of winning against one of the best teams in the world (which, the U.s. is). (Sadly, without Essien in the next match it's already chiming midnight in Accra.)
Tomorrow we set the final two matches in the second round. Spain tries to continue their impressive run against Saudi Arabia (good chance of that happening), while the Ukraine and Tunisia have a play-in game. Meanwhile South Korea and Switzerland have the same fight to get into round two (though a draw would probably mean the controversial drawing of lots), and if you have a soul in your heart you've got to be rooting for Togo to upend France just to save us all from Monsiuer Lamey McGee's idiocy in the Second Round.
Finally, let me just say this: keep watching and cheering during this World Cup. The absence of our home side means little to nothing in contrast with the great teams, players and storylines that march forward. And if ever you doubt that the United States is a soccer country, take solace in this fact: we are concerned enough with soccer to be debating it in major news papers, online, on television, on networks not even devoted to sports. When Steven Colbert gives in to the fever, you know you've got something that appeals to the masses. Better still, we are clearly NOT the New York Yankees in some facet of the worldwide landscape. We've been bested at something, and there is nothing we like better than a comeback. Of course Mr. Cool J would rather we didn't call it that either.
"We stink!" "We're lousy!" "We have no talent!" "We can't play with the best teams in the world!" "We have to overcompensate for our lack of knowledge about this game with blind prejudice and increased volume!!!"
But if I may, please refer to the title of this post, a paraphrase of the late 20th century American philosopher, LL Cool J. This overeactionary attitude seems to be the sensibility following today's games, but rather than recite the vapid statements of Jackassitude that emanate from Sports Journalists today, let's fondly remember and admire the eight teams finished today.
In memoriam--
U.S.A.: Let's get the big boys out of the way first. We had one problem this World Cup (well two if you include the magical sprites that caused Rezak's Pimpong's collapse in the box this morning) a lack of urgency. Fall down by one goal to the Czechs, and suddenly you begin to wither, deferring to the point of calamity. Then you fall down farther and farther. Go up a man versus Italy and just knock it around until Mastroeni gets carded. At the end of the day it was philosophy that did us in, but it shouldn't be used as an indictment of our abilities on the pitch. More players are going abroad, and still more will follow. The game is growing in importance and being debated in corner bars and living rooms around the nation. We'll come back from this, and if we can finally get a little gift in terms of our group we should have a good chance of going farther the next time around.
Czech Republic: Ouch. Hard as it is to believe, the U.s. is not the most disappointed squad in Group E. The 2nd ranked Czechs collapsed like a flan in a cupboard (thanks Eddie Izzard). True they had no world class striker for the better part of three games, but still, going down without a goal in their last two matches is just plain harsh.
Japan: Watching the first 35 minutes against Brazil today it was clear what made Brent ooh and ahh over them. They have great creativity and chemistry, creating chances and capitalizing on mistakes. Then it became clear why they didn't go farther: they make bigger mistakes that other teams capitalize on. Tough luck, but they should be better in the future.
Croatia: As ever, the Croats are dead to me. Flipping to their match I still managed to see one tackle, one high kick and one hand ball (all in the box) that weren't called against them, thus making their match with the Socceroos much closer than it deserved to be. So once again Croatia, congratulations, I remember when I once only vaguely disliked you, but once again you are deader to me than Mr. Belding's acting career.
**
**
In Action--
Italy: Back in business and ain't it grand. The Azzuri are fashionable again and just in time for the summer season (they still flop more than a John Steinbeck euphemism, but that's not always a bad thing).
Australia: Phew! I thought the Socceroo's were finished during their battle with the dirty dirty Croats, but trust in Guus to get them on ahead. Their lack of genuine scoring panache still means they won't go father, but it's a big day in Australia.
Brazil: It took a goal from Japan to wake them up but it finally happened, and the boys from Rio finally looked like the side we all thought they would be. (And that was without Cafu/Adriano and a handful of others in the game.) And once again, big ups to Fatty for moving into a tie for first place on the All-Time World Cup scoring list (why don't you have a slice of celebratory cake?)
Ghana: I admit, I was awfully conflicted during the Black Stars match with the U.s. And honestly, I'm a trifle peeved that they won on a cheeky penalty. It's not to say that they wouldn't have won or advanced anyway, but this just gives everyone a reason to overlook them as a talented side and takes a lot of the glamour out of winning against one of the best teams in the world (which, the U.s. is). (Sadly, without Essien in the next match it's already chiming midnight in Accra.)
Tomorrow we set the final two matches in the second round. Spain tries to continue their impressive run against Saudi Arabia (good chance of that happening), while the Ukraine and Tunisia have a play-in game. Meanwhile South Korea and Switzerland have the same fight to get into round two (though a draw would probably mean the controversial drawing of lots), and if you have a soul in your heart you've got to be rooting for Togo to upend France just to save us all from Monsiuer Lamey McGee's idiocy in the Second Round.
Finally, let me just say this: keep watching and cheering during this World Cup. The absence of our home side means little to nothing in contrast with the great teams, players and storylines that march forward. And if ever you doubt that the United States is a soccer country, take solace in this fact: we are concerned enough with soccer to be debating it in major news papers, online, on television, on networks not even devoted to sports. When Steven Colbert gives in to the fever, you know you've got something that appeals to the masses. Better still, we are clearly NOT the New York Yankees in some facet of the worldwide landscape. We've been bested at something, and there is nothing we like better than a comeback. Of course Mr. Cool J would rather we didn't call it that either.
High Hopes
Quickly, I just wanted to say this level of hope, and interest in our national team is unprecedented. I'm watching the USA-Ghana game at a Northwestern Bar called O'Toole's, where the Italy-Czech Republic game will be split screened. It's almost like waking up in a different country.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Musings from a silent state of mind (or, mouth, at least)
Okay, after having my wisdom teeth pulled this morning I can't talk (and apparently I'm four teeth dumber). Given my predilection to rambling regardless of my audience's interest (or lack thereof) this is quite a blow to me.
Of course there's always one forum where ignorant, self-righteous blabbermouths can speak without fear of rebuke: Around the Horn! Since I can't go there, this blog will have to do.
Conveniently, silence lends itself to a better appreciation of the game (as well as the brilliance of Captain Wonderful aka John Harkes). Sadly, after being knocked out for the morning games and recording the unimaginative splendor of Netherlands V. Argentina for Matt today appreciating the beautiful game was easier said (or rather thought) than done.
But with eight more teams making plans for the weekend, here's a look back, ahead and askance at each team's World Cup.
Ready for a LONG Weekend--
Ivory Coast: Brent's right, this is a talented side that was stonewalled in their group. A 3-2 win today was more than deserved, it's practically a constitutional right. Life, Liberty and Didier Drogba! Bravo Tommy Jefferson!
Serbia & Montenegro: Okay, so the Famous Four flopped. I won't make excuses and I'm sure they won't either. After all they have to go back to Belgrade (site of the ever popular Girls Gone Wild: Balkan Beauties).
Iran: For all the hubbub and falderal surrounding their political and social strife few teams fell as flat as Iran. Now they have to go back to their oppressive regime and wait to trot out septuagenarian Ali Daei in 2010.
Angola: Say what you will about the team that was supposed to be the weakest in the entire field. This is a team that surpassed everyone's expectations. Getting not just one, but TWO points and staying alive until the last day should be enough to smack around everyone who said they didn't belong.
**
**
"Ummm, yeah...I'm going to need you to come in on Saturday. Oh, and ah...Sunday too."--
Argentina: The one team that look as good as we all thought Brazil would. Well, up until the dentistry at least. Still, smiles don't win world cups, hand ball goals do, and Cup winning hand ball goals is a category Argentina continues to lead.
Mexico: After a great first half v.s. Iran it's been a downward slide up to, and including, Omar Bravo's shanked PK today. Don't get me wrong I like El Tricolors but it's just not going to happen. (Lots of luck, but you need more than that to beat Argentina)
Portugal: I'd say something nice but I've only watched one of their matches (tuxedo fitting/trip to Portland/wisdom tooth removal). So...you guys wear maroon, huh? Good for you!
Netherlands: A little more creativity, a lot better passing and Herr Robbens back on the pitch should be all they need to dispatch Portugal. (Plus they wear Orange which is much cooler than Maroon).
Tomorrow is, at last, a serious showdown day, with the Azzurri in good shape to beat the Czechs. If they do, any result between Ghana and the U.s. will make me happy as it guarantees one of those teams goes to the next round. Brazil should be able to knock off Japan, and all the Aussies need to do is pull a draw against the goal-less Croats to move ahead. I may not be saying much, but as long as there's cup action to come, and a world wide information superhighway to gobble up my unimportant ramblings, I'm a happy man.
Of course there's always one forum where ignorant, self-righteous blabbermouths can speak without fear of rebuke: Around the Horn! Since I can't go there, this blog will have to do.
Conveniently, silence lends itself to a better appreciation of the game (as well as the brilliance of Captain Wonderful aka John Harkes). Sadly, after being knocked out for the morning games and recording the unimaginative splendor of Netherlands V. Argentina for Matt today appreciating the beautiful game was easier said (or rather thought) than done.
But with eight more teams making plans for the weekend, here's a look back, ahead and askance at each team's World Cup.
Ready for a LONG Weekend--
Ivory Coast: Brent's right, this is a talented side that was stonewalled in their group. A 3-2 win today was more than deserved, it's practically a constitutional right. Life, Liberty and Didier Drogba! Bravo Tommy Jefferson!
Serbia & Montenegro: Okay, so the Famous Four flopped. I won't make excuses and I'm sure they won't either. After all they have to go back to Belgrade (site of the ever popular Girls Gone Wild: Balkan Beauties).
Iran: For all the hubbub and falderal surrounding their political and social strife few teams fell as flat as Iran. Now they have to go back to their oppressive regime and wait to trot out septuagenarian Ali Daei in 2010.
Angola: Say what you will about the team that was supposed to be the weakest in the entire field. This is a team that surpassed everyone's expectations. Getting not just one, but TWO points and staying alive until the last day should be enough to smack around everyone who said they didn't belong.
**
**
"Ummm, yeah...I'm going to need you to come in on Saturday. Oh, and ah...Sunday too."--
Argentina: The one team that look as good as we all thought Brazil would. Well, up until the dentistry at least. Still, smiles don't win world cups, hand ball goals do, and Cup winning hand ball goals is a category Argentina continues to lead.
Mexico: After a great first half v.s. Iran it's been a downward slide up to, and including, Omar Bravo's shanked PK today. Don't get me wrong I like El Tricolors but it's just not going to happen. (Lots of luck, but you need more than that to beat Argentina)
Portugal: I'd say something nice but I've only watched one of their matches (tuxedo fitting/trip to Portland/wisdom tooth removal). So...you guys wear maroon, huh? Good for you!
Netherlands: A little more creativity, a lot better passing and Herr Robbens back on the pitch should be all they need to dispatch Portugal. (Plus they wear Orange which is much cooler than Maroon).
Tomorrow is, at last, a serious showdown day, with the Azzurri in good shape to beat the Czechs. If they do, any result between Ghana and the U.s. will make me happy as it guarantees one of those teams goes to the next round. Brazil should be able to knock off Japan, and all the Aussies need to do is pull a draw against the goal-less Croats to move ahead. I may not be saying much, but as long as there's cup action to come, and a world wide information superhighway to gobble up my unimportant ramblings, I'm a happy man.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Onward football soldiers!
The Sweet Sixteen has started to take shape, with two matches being officially set for Saturday and Sunday and four teams beginning to pack for a somber flight home devoid of comely stewardesses. As Brent has already seized the mantle of predictor in chief, I hereby stake my claim as Retrospectator General (mostly because, like Momar Ghadaffi, I look good in epaulets).
Going Home--
Poland: Ah the Polacks. That oh so trendy pick to cruise into round two behind Germany, leaving an outclassed Costa Rica and a befuddled Ecuador in their wake. Woops! Turns out they can't score unless they're tripping the keeper in the process. Artur Boruc's brilliance against Germany (for 92 minutes anyway) not withstanding, it's disappointing.
Costa Rica: Dear Paulo Wanchope,
Welcome to the wonderful world of national icon-hood.
Sincerely,
B. MacKenzie.
P.s. Don't worry about those 22 other guys on the plane ride home with you. You know, the one's sobbing and stuff. Not your problem.
Paraguay: I told you at the beginning of the cup that they were a solid defense backed by a potent offense, and they proved me right. Sure, it took until the third game and they now need to revamp the lineup significantly before 2010, but I was kind of right.
Trinidad & Tobago: This has to be the saddest result possible. After a draw that made everything seem possible, after stone walling England for 75 minutes. After becoming the beloved underdog of the world, the Soca Warriors are going home. In last place. With zero goals to their credit. Sure Yorke might be back in the Premiership, and yeah Hislop can now have a field at Howard University after him. But this has to be the loudest thud after an opening bang that I can remember.
**
**
Heading on--
Germany: Okay, so I'm often down on the chances of the home side, today turned me around. They are, in fact, quite good. And will waltz on to their weekend showdown with the Swedes humming a happy tune and basking in the reflected glory of Miroslav Klose, the slicing, scoring, striker made with precision German engineering.
Sweden: The Huns second round opponent have looked sloppy at best and lucky at worst. Though they still possess a potent attack and unbelievably talented strikers, it's clear that they have remained close thanks in large part to keeper Andreas Isaksson. He's been bested only twice, and save the miracle volley from Joe Cole he might have put the Meatballs in ahead of England. (Still, I doubt they get past Germany)
Ecuador: While Brent abhors their uniforms, I have been greatly impressed. Who knew Marathon was in the soccer business? The colors are...oh, wait, this is about the team. So, anyway. I was ready to applaud Ecuador all the way to the Quarters, until their bout of "Which way do we go, George, which way do we go?" today against Germany. Though I love Little Christian Mora in net, the lack of punch and indeed effort for Ecuador today shows how much Carlos Tenorio and Agustin Delgado drive the squad.
England: So somehow the Three Lions cannot stop the Swedes. There may be all kinds of reasons thrown out there, but for my money, it's the distraction of the bikini team. I mean...Zatlan in a two piece is just plain HOTT. They've been profoundly inconsistent and seem more and more to be tied to Wayne Rooney, awaiting his epic destruction of all other forces. But with Owen out for heaven knows how long and Rooney still getting back into form, they'll need their defense to step up to stop Ecuador. (They'll do it, but I have to build the drama a little right?)
Tomorrow we'll see a telling match between Argentina and the Netherlands, a beatdown (hopefully) from Ivory Coast to Serbia, a showdown between Portugal and Mexico and little ol' Angola with a chance, yes a chance, of making the second round (all it takes is a win against Iran, and a Mexico loss by a couple of goals). Actually, YOU'LL see those things, I'LL be drugged up after wisdom tooth removal, so who knows what I'll see?
Going Home--
Poland: Ah the Polacks. That oh so trendy pick to cruise into round two behind Germany, leaving an outclassed Costa Rica and a befuddled Ecuador in their wake. Woops! Turns out they can't score unless they're tripping the keeper in the process. Artur Boruc's brilliance against Germany (for 92 minutes anyway) not withstanding, it's disappointing.
Costa Rica: Dear Paulo Wanchope,
Welcome to the wonderful world of national icon-hood.
Sincerely,
B. MacKenzie.
P.s. Don't worry about those 22 other guys on the plane ride home with you. You know, the one's sobbing and stuff. Not your problem.
Paraguay: I told you at the beginning of the cup that they were a solid defense backed by a potent offense, and they proved me right. Sure, it took until the third game and they now need to revamp the lineup significantly before 2010, but I was kind of right.
Trinidad & Tobago: This has to be the saddest result possible. After a draw that made everything seem possible, after stone walling England for 75 minutes. After becoming the beloved underdog of the world, the Soca Warriors are going home. In last place. With zero goals to their credit. Sure Yorke might be back in the Premiership, and yeah Hislop can now have a field at Howard University after him. But this has to be the loudest thud after an opening bang that I can remember.
**
**
Heading on--
Germany: Okay, so I'm often down on the chances of the home side, today turned me around. They are, in fact, quite good. And will waltz on to their weekend showdown with the Swedes humming a happy tune and basking in the reflected glory of Miroslav Klose, the slicing, scoring, striker made with precision German engineering.
Sweden: The Huns second round opponent have looked sloppy at best and lucky at worst. Though they still possess a potent attack and unbelievably talented strikers, it's clear that they have remained close thanks in large part to keeper Andreas Isaksson. He's been bested only twice, and save the miracle volley from Joe Cole he might have put the Meatballs in ahead of England. (Still, I doubt they get past Germany)
Ecuador: While Brent abhors their uniforms, I have been greatly impressed. Who knew Marathon was in the soccer business? The colors are...oh, wait, this is about the team. So, anyway. I was ready to applaud Ecuador all the way to the Quarters, until their bout of "Which way do we go, George, which way do we go?" today against Germany. Though I love Little Christian Mora in net, the lack of punch and indeed effort for Ecuador today shows how much Carlos Tenorio and Agustin Delgado drive the squad.
England: So somehow the Three Lions cannot stop the Swedes. There may be all kinds of reasons thrown out there, but for my money, it's the distraction of the bikini team. I mean...Zatlan in a two piece is just plain HOTT. They've been profoundly inconsistent and seem more and more to be tied to Wayne Rooney, awaiting his epic destruction of all other forces. But with Owen out for heaven knows how long and Rooney still getting back into form, they'll need their defense to step up to stop Ecuador. (They'll do it, but I have to build the drama a little right?)
Tomorrow we'll see a telling match between Argentina and the Netherlands, a beatdown (hopefully) from Ivory Coast to Serbia, a showdown between Portugal and Mexico and little ol' Angola with a chance, yes a chance, of making the second round (all it takes is a win against Iran, and a Mexico loss by a couple of goals). Actually, YOU'LL see those things, I'LL be drugged up after wisdom tooth removal, so who knows what I'll see?
English Boys and Swedish Meatballs
Before reading this post, you must sing its title to the tune of the chorus of the Arctic Monkeys' "Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts" and if you haven't heard the Arctic Monkeys go patronize iTunes or steal it off Limewire if you feel contrarian or cheap at the moment. Note: if you feel both contrarian AND cheap that means that you feel Scottish.
So disappointing to see the Soca Warriors fail to make the second round today, but finally England looked like they should have looked from the start of the tournament. At least until Gerrard came in. Can we finally say with certainty that Lampard and Gerrard cannot be on the same field for the same team at the same time? No matter what any manager tells them they both want to play the attacking midfield position, creating chances and missing 40-yard shots by three feet. Both play that attacking midfield role expertly with their club sides and create some of the most breathtaking goals in the world. They are enabled to create via the confidence they have in their defensive center midfielders Xabi Alanso (with Gerrard at Liverpool) and Claude Makalele (who wrote the treatise on playing defensive center midfielder with Lampard at Chelsea). Gerrard is too good to be on the bench, but so are Juninho, Lionel Messi, Robinho and Eddie Johnson. With Hargreaves playing a very solid D-Mid, Gerrard and Lampard should platoon as attacking center mids. If one plays 70 minutes of their next game and the other plays the last 20 and they switch back and forth, can you find a downside? Less confusion and an immediate infusion of skill, creativity, heart and speed. Soccer always runs through the Center Midfield, if that Center is confused about its role, unsure of itself, or simply overmatched it (and its team) will probably loose the match. Lampard for 70 minutes, Gerrard for the last 20: killer. Either that or bench Golden Balls (that's what they call Beckham in the UK) and put Gerrard on the wing, but since Sven will never do that, the platoon idea is the best one to go to.
Also, after that bizzare injury to Michael Owen in the opening moments of the match, we should be able to see what's so special about Theo Wolcott. At least we would if England's manager weren't so wedded to the idea of Frankenstien playing alongside Wayne Rooney (who looked fantastic today, along with Man of the Match Joe Cole). Not only is Peter Crouch ineffective, he's only been effective by cheating. Check this out:
In German with handy spotshadow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2WxxwYBvrk&search=crouch%20hair%20goal
In Marcello Balboian with the aftereffect:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJrHkMc5_J8&search=crouch%20hair%20goal
the best part about what Balboa says is that the defender isn't even looking for the ball, which is hard to do when Isaac Asimov's wet dream is attempting to wrench your head off, with its titanium claws clutching your dreads. I found this thanks to the NYTimes World Cup Blog which has been excellent all tournament.
So now imagine Gerrard and Theo Wolcott, readying to be subbed in in the 65th minute of England's match against Ecuador which at that point is tied 1-1, that's a pretty dynamite combo. Throw in Aaron Lennon for Beckham and that's a killer sub pattern for the rest of the tournament.
So who's the Swedish Meatball? The England Coach. He won't do it. I wish he would, but he won't. If by some miracle he reads obscure soccer blogs he will have downloaded the Arctic Monkeys and stopped caring. Oh well.
I think that if they play as a team, Sweden can beat Germany. As long as their 6'6" Keeper stays in position, their defense is solid, their team can play coheasively and in Ljunberg, Laarson and Ibrahimovic they have three of the best players in the world. That might also be the reason that they don't beat Germany. Read this excellent article in the English version of Der Spiegel if you want to know more about three more possible Swedish Meatballs:
http://service.spiegel.de/cache/international/spiegel/0,1518,422335,00.html
Finally, a limited rant at the low expectations our broadcasters have for us.
Is it just me or did Melberg score the second goal for Sweden? Laarson did the Airplane and he's recognizable, so Dave O'Brien called it Laarson's goal, but it seemed on the fourth replay that the guys manning the replay machine tried to make it as obvious as possible, slowing the replay down dramatically as Melberg's white Nike touched the ball as Laarson's gold Adidas missed it. Of course it was never mentioned because Marcello was breathlessly mentioning that England's streak of not beating Sweeden since 1968 would continue. That is the second or third time I've seen the reply guys lob a softball to the guys in the booth that could have resulted in some much closer analysis only to have them wiff it. What is going on here? Are you telling me that there's no meeting after the game where the replay guys have their say? Can't ESPN fix this? It's clear that the only commentator who would have caught that would have been The Big Y. Tommy Smyth, too bad the others aren't taking his example.
Regarding that useless stat about England not beating Sweden since 1968, I think it satisfied the only three people who care about stats like that: a guy I go to law school with named Hallerz, Joe Buck and the American producer of the World Cup coverage who is in charge of feeding the broadcast team stats that are meant to have historical weight to make the game more accessable for casual American fans.
My problem is this: there's no connection between that stat and the current teams. Did the England players lay their hearts on the line to beat Sweden for the first time in 38 years? Did Sweeden say before the game, "Ok we win or we draw, there's no way were letting them beat us, ya?" Did either of them even know about that stat? I'm going to guess that even the casual American fan demographic doesn't care about historical stats becasue for the same reason.
I'm a casual hockey and NBA fan and I can't stand stats like: "the Carolina Hurricanes' coach has coached two game 7's, won one and lost one" (With DIFFERENT TEAMS). Or: "no Eastern conference team has given up a 3 games to 2 lead over a Western Conference team in the NBA finals after loosing the first two and then winning three straight." I'm guessing this all stems from stats like "The Chicago Cubs haven't won a World Series since JP Dellacamra was just a twinkle in the eye of Satan and a Circus Acrobat named Venta the Voluptous."
But, a franchise's history has no bearing or relevance for current players. It does for long-standing fans, but for the most part these stats are negative and only cause those long standing fans more pain. Meatballs at ESPN, I'm watching...and I'm hungry.
On a side note, since I'm in Chicago I figured I'd just throw in the fact that the Cubs haven't won a world series because they suck. The team owners know that they don't need to field a competitive team because wrigley is enough of a draw in itself that at this point they could field the entire cast and crew of Two and Half Men (including the little kid), and still sell out the season to their Big-Ten frat and sorority based drunken bufoon fan-base:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm2MuS_B2I4&search=cubs%20fan%20slide
Freakin' Meatballs.
Eating Edamae while wearing Pajamas,
Matt
So disappointing to see the Soca Warriors fail to make the second round today, but finally England looked like they should have looked from the start of the tournament. At least until Gerrard came in. Can we finally say with certainty that Lampard and Gerrard cannot be on the same field for the same team at the same time? No matter what any manager tells them they both want to play the attacking midfield position, creating chances and missing 40-yard shots by three feet. Both play that attacking midfield role expertly with their club sides and create some of the most breathtaking goals in the world. They are enabled to create via the confidence they have in their defensive center midfielders Xabi Alanso (with Gerrard at Liverpool) and Claude Makalele (who wrote the treatise on playing defensive center midfielder with Lampard at Chelsea). Gerrard is too good to be on the bench, but so are Juninho, Lionel Messi, Robinho and Eddie Johnson. With Hargreaves playing a very solid D-Mid, Gerrard and Lampard should platoon as attacking center mids. If one plays 70 minutes of their next game and the other plays the last 20 and they switch back and forth, can you find a downside? Less confusion and an immediate infusion of skill, creativity, heart and speed. Soccer always runs through the Center Midfield, if that Center is confused about its role, unsure of itself, or simply overmatched it (and its team) will probably loose the match. Lampard for 70 minutes, Gerrard for the last 20: killer. Either that or bench Golden Balls (that's what they call Beckham in the UK) and put Gerrard on the wing, but since Sven will never do that, the platoon idea is the best one to go to.
Also, after that bizzare injury to Michael Owen in the opening moments of the match, we should be able to see what's so special about Theo Wolcott. At least we would if England's manager weren't so wedded to the idea of Frankenstien playing alongside Wayne Rooney (who looked fantastic today, along with Man of the Match Joe Cole). Not only is Peter Crouch ineffective, he's only been effective by cheating. Check this out:
In German with handy spotshadow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2WxxwYBvrk&search=crouch%20hair%20goal
In Marcello Balboian with the aftereffect:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJrHkMc5_J8&search=crouch%20hair%20goal
the best part about what Balboa says is that the defender isn't even looking for the ball, which is hard to do when Isaac Asimov's wet dream is attempting to wrench your head off, with its titanium claws clutching your dreads. I found this thanks to the NYTimes World Cup Blog which has been excellent all tournament.
So now imagine Gerrard and Theo Wolcott, readying to be subbed in in the 65th minute of England's match against Ecuador which at that point is tied 1-1, that's a pretty dynamite combo. Throw in Aaron Lennon for Beckham and that's a killer sub pattern for the rest of the tournament.
So who's the Swedish Meatball? The England Coach. He won't do it. I wish he would, but he won't. If by some miracle he reads obscure soccer blogs he will have downloaded the Arctic Monkeys and stopped caring. Oh well.
I think that if they play as a team, Sweden can beat Germany. As long as their 6'6" Keeper stays in position, their defense is solid, their team can play coheasively and in Ljunberg, Laarson and Ibrahimovic they have three of the best players in the world. That might also be the reason that they don't beat Germany. Read this excellent article in the English version of Der Spiegel if you want to know more about three more possible Swedish Meatballs:
http://service.spiegel.de/cache/international/spiegel/0,1518,422335,00.html
Finally, a limited rant at the low expectations our broadcasters have for us.
Is it just me or did Melberg score the second goal for Sweden? Laarson did the Airplane and he's recognizable, so Dave O'Brien called it Laarson's goal, but it seemed on the fourth replay that the guys manning the replay machine tried to make it as obvious as possible, slowing the replay down dramatically as Melberg's white Nike touched the ball as Laarson's gold Adidas missed it. Of course it was never mentioned because Marcello was breathlessly mentioning that England's streak of not beating Sweeden since 1968 would continue. That is the second or third time I've seen the reply guys lob a softball to the guys in the booth that could have resulted in some much closer analysis only to have them wiff it. What is going on here? Are you telling me that there's no meeting after the game where the replay guys have their say? Can't ESPN fix this? It's clear that the only commentator who would have caught that would have been The Big Y. Tommy Smyth, too bad the others aren't taking his example.
Regarding that useless stat about England not beating Sweden since 1968, I think it satisfied the only three people who care about stats like that: a guy I go to law school with named Hallerz, Joe Buck and the American producer of the World Cup coverage who is in charge of feeding the broadcast team stats that are meant to have historical weight to make the game more accessable for casual American fans.
My problem is this: there's no connection between that stat and the current teams. Did the England players lay their hearts on the line to beat Sweden for the first time in 38 years? Did Sweeden say before the game, "Ok we win or we draw, there's no way were letting them beat us, ya?" Did either of them even know about that stat? I'm going to guess that even the casual American fan demographic doesn't care about historical stats becasue for the same reason.
I'm a casual hockey and NBA fan and I can't stand stats like: "the Carolina Hurricanes' coach has coached two game 7's, won one and lost one" (With DIFFERENT TEAMS). Or: "no Eastern conference team has given up a 3 games to 2 lead over a Western Conference team in the NBA finals after loosing the first two and then winning three straight." I'm guessing this all stems from stats like "The Chicago Cubs haven't won a World Series since JP Dellacamra was just a twinkle in the eye of Satan and a Circus Acrobat named Venta the Voluptous."
But, a franchise's history has no bearing or relevance for current players. It does for long-standing fans, but for the most part these stats are negative and only cause those long standing fans more pain. Meatballs at ESPN, I'm watching...and I'm hungry.
On a side note, since I'm in Chicago I figured I'd just throw in the fact that the Cubs haven't won a world series because they suck. The team owners know that they don't need to field a competitive team because wrigley is enough of a draw in itself that at this point they could field the entire cast and crew of Two and Half Men (including the little kid), and still sell out the season to their Big-Ten frat and sorority based drunken bufoon fan-base:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm2MuS_B2I4&search=cubs%20fan%20slide
Freakin' Meatballs.
Eating Edamae while wearing Pajamas,
Matt
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