AFC Cup Outrounds!

It's crunch time in Qatar and no...I'm not referring to the home stretch of a camel race. Today begins the out rounds of the AFC cup, and shockingly, for someone with absolutely no experience, I did pretty well on my predictions of the quarter finalists.

Japan, Uzbekistan, Australia, South Korea, Iran and Iraq all came through for me, with only China and Saudi Arabia (who fired two coaches in three matches) falling short. So the new darlings are Jordan and...yup...Qatar. I'm wondering if they're winning through illegality or through sheer antagonism towards the rest of the world.

If you've watched any of the highlights (Click here if you're interested) you may well have noticed the somewhat...generally...shall we say..."sparse" crowds at the matches. That's too kind: there are literally HUGE SWATHS of seats available at these games. Seriously, I've seen larger crowds at Craig Kilborn Fan Fests. My brother's high-school games were more attended than these matches...and they played in Bozeman...in November...after shoveling snow off the field.

So, hey, if you want to go on vacation and see some international soccer in the lap of luxury: Qatar's the way to go. (It'll be easier now than in 11 years anyway).

We'll be back in a few days to check on the semi's which will have at least one starry-eyed dreamer playing with the World Cup perennials. (Good luck surviving that one Uzbekistan/Jordan)

AFC Cup 2011: A half-hearted/belated preview

Since the Asian Cup kicked off two days ago, I suppose I ought to point out precisely who is likely to win this and head on to the Confederations Cup in 2013.

Why? Because it's early January and there's NOTHING ELSE TO DO!

Let's lose Qatar (the deal with the Devil only won the them the world cup hosting, not actual talent), Syria (with only two stars left on their flag they only have so much collateral to trade with), North Korea (a change in management's always tough--for all his problems Kim Jong Il always got the red robot motivated) and much as it pains me to admit it: India. (Where the fans will be cheering right up until the cricket comes back on.

Just missing out on the out rounds we have Jordan (any non Michael form of "Jordan" can't win a title for fear of copyright infringement), Bahrain and the UAE (losing out of sympathy for their fellow obscenely wealthy Arab state: Qatar) and Kuwait...because I flipped a coin and they lost.

Ooops, Uzbekistan stayed alive until the knock out stage, but Japan will take care of that, while China crushes Saudi Arabia and moves wins the title of country that most frustrates Bill O'Rielly. On the other side of the draw, Australia and South Korea will run roughshod over Iraq and Iran because they'll be busy moping over their demotion on O'Rielly's list.

In the semifinals Australia will take China out for "a quick snort" the night before. Several hours and 22 lost pairs of pants later, a bedraggled/hungover China will be dumped from the tournament by a barely winded set of Socceroos. Meanwhile the Japanese and Koreans will do what they do best: hate eachother through a tense draw that ultimately results in a Korean victory.

The final on the 29th we'll have a rematch of a previous game between two group C rivals (as seen on January 14th). And under the blazing Qatari sun, a clear victor will emerge: and that victory will be....AUSTRALIA! (Because the crafty Aussies will spike their opponents Kim Chee...diabolic villainy...that's the Aussie way!)

MEET THE BID: KOREA 2022

Tagline: More Than a Game

What the Tagline Should Be: More Than a Game...it's also a Way to One-up Japan.

You Tube Plea:

Pros: Have you ever started watching a hit tv show half-way through? It debuted and you didn't notice, it was on-air for a couple years and you were always busy or watching something else. Nobody really talked about it except to say: "oh yeah, I love that show!"? Well in global affairs that's Korea...the How I Met Your Mother of developing markets. As the You Tube video explains (in the kind of perfect presentation style that I have to give an A for content), Korea has stability politically and economically; its infrastructure is great and it offers a flair of the foreign with the comforts of home (it's EPCOT-tastic!). Also, Korea benefits from its competition: with FIFA honor bound to give the 2018 World Cup to some pasty Europeans it may not want to give the following World Cup to pasty descendants of pasty Europeans (that means bad news for the US and Australia) and the fine-tuned precision of Kora's bid seems a better alternative than Qatar and Japan.

Cons: Only one country has hosted the World Cup twice in twenty years (Mexico 1970 & 1986...and they only got the '86 gig after Columbia spent all its stadium money on Carlos Valderamma's hair gel), most countries have to wait 60 years before they host again (Italy, France, Brazil) and while Korea's great, it might be a little presumptuous to assume they deserve it again so soon. Moreover, the "great fan culture" cuts both ways, if Koreans love football so much they'll watch even if it's not in Korea. So if FIFA wants to grow the game, Korea might not be its best option. (Also: where were the adorable kids in that video? C'mon Korea you're missing the appeal to our heartstrings) It also might be a little naive to assume that FIFA can solve the problem of North Korea by giving South Korea the World Cup (Can you see Kim Jong Il saying: "well, shoot! I was going to keep imprisoning dissidents and asserting my iron will until I died and handed over power to my equally ruthless son, but now that you've given a platform for my main rival to show the world how forward they are and backward I am...I guess I better start behaving!")

Summary: My snarkiness aside, FIFA loves feeling needed and relishes the opportunity to use sport for good. That humanitarian slant, as well as a distinctive culture, stable environment, and excellent footballing history makes Korea a serious contender for the 2022 cup.

Chances: It all depends on the tricky balance of "Pasty European Guilt" v.s. "Growing the Game". If Korea holds up enough pictures of adorable kids holding soccer balls and pouting they have an excellent chance.