Sunday, March 28, 2010

Meet the Teams: 4-for-1 BLOWOUT!!

In honor--or plagiary--of March Madness, we return to our Meet the Team Series with a look at 4 European teams, and how they bear a striking similarity to the four principle teams in the Men's College Baskteball tournament: BEHOLD THE GLORY OF ANOTHER CHART!!





March Madness Archetype

Prestige Program

Choke Artist

Mid-Major cinderella Story

Speed Bump

If you cheer for them you may also like cheering for:

Duke Blue Devils

Texas Longhorns

Butler Bulldogs

Alabama State Hornets


The “Azzurri”

Seleccao del Quinas (The Five Shields)

None (Taken away by EU in exchange for loan)

Schwizer Nati

Star Player

Fabio Cannavaro

Cristiano Ronaldo

Theofanis Gekas

Alexander Frei

Random player with a name that’s fun to say

Gianluigi Buffon (Sounds like “Buffoon”)

Da Silva Muniz Liedson (Three last names, no firsts)

Socratis Papaststhopolus

Blaise N’Kufo

Tearjerking story to be told in sepia tones

Triumphant story of 23 men who somehow are less attractive to women than Silvio Burlusconi

Triumphant story of a group of men who learn not to fall over at the first bit of contact

Triumphant story of a plucky group of men who help Greece forget about their crippling financial woes

Triumphant story of a group of chocolatiers who play a little sport on the side.

Best Possible Result

Yet another title....yawn

This year

is OUR


Soul stirring semi-final spot

“A pretty girl saw me and smiled!!!!”

Worst possible result

Inexplicable defeat...tar & feather at home

Another disappointment...yawn

Smug satisfaction for “experts”

Get lost on the way to the field

Most likely highlight reel appearance

Holding a big shiny trophy--like....this one!

Looking on in disbelief

Silly celebration

Running feebly after a star player

Likelihood that the coach cries after a championship




-6 (Victory may cause death, make crying impossible)

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