Monday, December 07, 2009

Oliver Reed would be an unkillable zombie.

Just read the obit:

The man was a modern viking.

Plus he was in Condorman as the bad guy, that's him on the walkie-talkie, probably calling out the Prognoviach.

Why yes, this is the best movie ever made. Why do you ask? Isn't it obvious?

So while Fela Kuti was also badass, and his zombie spawn with Charlize Theron would be redoubtable, nobody kills* un-dead Oliver Reed but un-dead Oliver Reed thank you very much.

What does this all mean for the world cup? Well, of course, Oliver Reed was English and if the English National Team can channel his spirit, we're in trouble. Here's a graphic of what that would look like:

Certain doom.

So, here's to you Oliver Reed, you magnificent bastard. Please keep your spirit out of convenient European spirit channels (sprunnels?), if you do, we promise that when you rise from the grave we'll simply direct you to the nearest pub because your un-dead self will hunger not for brains, this much is certain.

/hat tip to the spicy living series at EDSBS:

*Its hard to figure what the verb should be when one terminates a zombie. They are, after all, already dead. So technically one just doesn't kill a zombie, rather one re-kills them. But, kill just sounds better. KILL KILL KILL. Does anyone know if this issue has been addressed definitively?

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