Saturday, December 26, 2009

Meet the Teams 2-for-1: Argentina and Serbia

With travel and holidays and all other kinds of frooferah, we here at the Montanan Hooligan World Cup Center have been a little distracted (I mean, someone has to play with that new XBox 360). But we will aim to make up for this with a special Meet the Team dealing with two teams heading in different directions: Argentina and Serbia.

At first glance they don't seem to have much in common: Argentina is a glamorous South American country with a history of revolutionary ideologies, musical innovation and gorgeous scenery. Serbia is partially responsible for the Yugo. But both countries have some talented players, and seem like squads to fear in the World Cup. But who is worthy of your adoration and who's little better than a lump of coal? This chart may help you break it down.


Argentina

Serbia

Whose life is nice?

Whose life is naughty?

Star Players: Which one? There’s Lionel Messi, Carlos Tevez, Maxi Rodriguez, and half a dozen other guys that nerdy football fans go crazy for.

Star Players: Stand out defenders Nemanja Vidic and Branislav Ivanovic won’t win any beauty contests {literally} but they defend very well. Scoring goals...well...

Argentina

Serbia

Coach: Diego Maradona is Guano level crazy. And would vastly prefer to be the star of the team...but he doesn’t actually play for the team...which makes for awkwardness

Coach: Radomir “Raddy” Antic took a squad loaded with talent but empty on consistency and made them a reliable force.

Serbia

Argentina

Legacy: Lots of people stand in awe of Argentina, but their two titles came almost twenty-five years ago. Since then, it’s been a little early success and lot of later let downs.

Legacy: They were supposed to shock the world in 2006--but stank instead. Then they couldn’t find a soul to call them contenders--and won. Now they are once again a darkhorse....maybe.

Argentina

Serbia

Contribution to the ranks of sketchy world leaders: Juan Peron--I could claim that this spot belongs to Che, but c’mon...once you’re on a t-shirt the revolution’s over. Peron, meanwhile trampled free speech, protected Nazi war criminals and helped pave the way for a Madonna musical...ass.

Contribution to the ranks of sketchy world leaders: Slobadon Milosevic [“Slobby” to his friends--not that he had any] arguably the biggest whackjob of the late 90s (only competition is Saddam and an aging Castro...but still) xenophobic nationalism, polticial opportunism and the magic words: Ethnic cleansing--CREEPY!!!

Serbia

Argentina

Team Nickname: White and Sky Blue”--I’m sorry, I didn’t know this was the world cup of interior design

Team Nickname: “The White Eagles”--Not sure whether it refers to the bird, Quarterbacks like Ron Jaworski or the musicians who play with Don Henley--anyway you slice it though, more bad ass than “white and sky blue”

Serbia

Argentina


Draw: Argentina has a low profile group of teams devoid of star opponents. South Korea, Nigeria and Greece don’t instill fear in the hearts of many--and definitely not in Argentina.

Draw: Serbia has the Group of Death’s younger brother, with 2006 knock out participants Germany, Ghana and Australia. Not pleasant. Not pleasant at all.

Argentina

Serbia



In the end the best case scenario for both teams are very very different. If everything goes according to plan for Argentina: the group stage is a cake walk and their momentum and sterling play carries them all the way to a Cup title. If everything goes to plan for Serbia: they can lock down Ghana and Australia, sneak in to round two, surprise England and arrive at the quarterfinals as the darlings of the tournament.

If you're a bit more cynical, you might expect Serbia to once again collapse in a pile of ineffective goo. Even worse? If Argentina demonstrates a hint of overconfidence and struggles as they have throughout the last year (read: if Diego Maradona acts remotely like the Diego Maradona who grabbed his crotched and told everyone in Argentina's media to "suck it and carry on sucking it"), they may be bounced in the group stage--and then get tarred and feathered upon their return home.


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