90--Sound of Music
Mountaintops and Toblerone bars and hilarious science teaching co-workers are just a few of my favorite things about Austria. The Sound of Music makes that cut too, though the eerily adorable children make it a tad Stepfordish. Still, the sing-a-long factor and Julie Andrews make it a standard for snowy nights and fires and warm apple strudel.
89--A Place in the Sun
A stellar murder thriller taking the audience on a trip through the anxiety riddled mind of a desperate man. Shifting the tables on the audience, so often rooting for the coppers to catch that dirty rat, you instead suddenly understand the dirty rat’s predicament. Some part of you knows why he commits his crime and some part of you might have wanted to do the same thing. It’s as psychologically riveting as Crime and Punishment without the torture of all the Russian pronunciations.
88--Some Like it Hot
Again, contrary to what Brent says there is some humor in cross dressing comedies. No matter how many times the creators of modern offenders (Big Momma’s House) cite the classics as inspiration. Here the redeeming factor is not Marilyn Monroe (the female version of my anti-James Dean fixation), nor is it Tony Curtis (doing a lame Cary Grant impression). It’s Jack Lemmon. Only Jack Lemmon. Forever Jack Lemmon. And Billy Wilder
87--It Happened One Night
Say what you will about screwball comedy: it’s unrealistic, it’s repetitive, its overwrought zaniness can grate on your nerves after the one hour mark. But whatever you say don’t lump this film in with the movies that give the genre a bad name. Clark Gable starts a grand tradition of sensible men turned into blithering nincompoops by a beautiful woman. And as a sensible man who is a blithering nincompoop in the company of a beautiful woman, I greatly admire this performance.
86--Wuthering Heights
Out of the whole of Laurence Olivier’s career you’ve got to think that this is not the movie he would pick to be the most beloved for generations after he’s shuffled loose the mortal coil. But it is, Heathcliffe on the moors and an enduring romance that is to dorky English teachers what Pretty Woman is to America at large (only without the profanity and creepy George Costanza moments).
85--Taxi Driver
Every one of my posts contains one entry that’s guaranteed to make Brent’s blood pressure rise. This is that entry. There’s nothing wrong with Taxi Driver. It’s classic. It’s DeNiro and Scorcese at the top of their games. It’s chilling, yet human, haunting, yet heroic. So why is it at 85 and not 15? One word, four syllables: gratuitous. Do we really need all the blood, all the time at the porno theater, all the political subplot. We probably do. It just distracted me from everything else.
84--Ben-Hur
Epic. There were a lot of movies that worked towards this end before Ben-Hur, there have been a lot of movies that have tried to achieve the feat afterwards. None of them manage to pull it off quite like this one does. True, epic is often boring and confusing: (What his mom and sister are being thrown out of the house? *2 hours later* What? He has a mother and sister?) but the high moments of Ben-Hur are so great, so grand and inspiring that you can’t help but pull yourself to the edge of your seat. Witness the thousands of (failed) attempts to achieve the chariot race scene again, none of which matches the intensity of the original.
83--Amadeus
Ben-Hur was long with moments of incredible intensity. Amadeus is long with aching crescendos of personal introspection. Just the kind of movie that an overly-reflective guy like me would like. It’s not totally accurate, and three hours of Mozart in a movie is a tad gratuitous, but F. Murray Abraham is like a human chariot race. Hanging on to everyone who watches him and pulling them along for the ride.
82—Dances with Wolves
When it first came out it was beloved, then it was totally and utterly forgotten. It’s worth looking at again, not because Kevin Costner is a cinematic genius (he’s not), nor because the romance is stirring (it’s a little frigid) but just because it found a way to recapture the dramatic beauty of the Western, the rolling fields and plains and mountains and everything that made me proud to grow up Montanan, the sense of land and history and culture and pride, and Graham Greene just generally being awesome.
81—Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Good, solid, fun. It’s all the best parts* of Star Wars, wise cracking Harrison Ford, and rip-roaring, swashbuckling adventure, with a dollop worth of rah-rah Americana in an effort to best the Nazis. AFI suggests Raiders of the Lost Ark, but that movie doesn’t have Sean Connery or the Hindenburg, making this movie much more list worthy.
*Ed. Note: By best parts of Star Wars we mean “best human parts of Star Wars” because clearly wookies would not have done well in the 1940s…or, maybe…
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Bens #'s 100-91: Clyde, The Kid and Cukoo Kings
It's been a while since a post, largely because Brent and I were awaiting the introduction of wise new bloggers.
Turns out they're so wise they aren't joining us at all. So, abandoned by the only three readers we would have ever had, we're starting up 100-1 from the ground up.
My first ten are a strange brew, 30's, 50's and 70's, war movies/post war movies, shiftless criminal lowlifes and shiftless political lowlifes, heart warming family's and crossdressers galore!
With that, here are 10 movies that aren't the greatest (not by any means) but have something going for them that makes them special.
100--Bonnie & Clyde
Rather than building up the myth of history’s most famous bank robbing duo, this exposes their more sincere flaws. Insensitive, afraid, co-dependent, everything you don’t envision from the bland descriptors in books. Plus it features great performances from Beatty and Dunaway.
99--The Best Years of Our Lives
What makes this often sappy soldiers-come-home drama, worthy of a top 100 spot is the reality of it all. The romance of the army, shattered (before Vietnam) the return of heroes, quickly forgotten (before Gulf War I/II), Though the central love story rather stinks, Fredrich March and Myrna Loy (HELENA WOOH!) do have one of the great love scenes of all time: “How many times have I told you I hated you and believed it in my heart? How many times have you said you were sick and tired of me; that we were all washed up? How many times have we had to fall in love all over again?” Beautiful, and true, I think, I’ve never been married.
98--All the King’s Men
A political drama in an era when politicians were considered nigh untouchable. The dramatization of Huey Long’s life does two intersting things in equal measure. First, it makes you admire the idealism of the man, regardless of the tactics he uses to get them. And secondly, it openly confronts the viewer asking how you can approve of him with your votes.
97--The Kid
I heart Charlie Chaplin (as you’ll no doubt notice during the revelation of this list). This is the beginning of Chaplin’s real exploration of his Tramp character. Whereas most of the other movies are focused on getting the girl, this one’s focused on his fatherly instincts, and it’s extremely affecting (if not as funny)
96--King Kong
As close to an epic monster movie as you’re like to come to with the first real development of special effects in story telling. It can be forgiven the lame remakes, but what is so surprising is that the grandeur you can tell was inteded in the 30’s still resonates today.
95--Grapes of Wrath
As sincere and heartwarming as the novel it’s based on, this is a great American story (and I’m pretty sure that’s a phrase I’ll end up using about twenty times before this is over). What’s so stunning about this film though is that it pushes Tom Joad to the brink of iconic hero status, only to reassert his flawed humanity upon his exit. It’s not quite Steinbeck’s words or art but it is Henry Fonda which is close enough
94--Tootsie
Regardless of what Brent says, this is funny. Not so much Dustin Hoffman in drag, or talking about being in drag, but rather Dustin Hoffman himself. His overblown obsession with Love Canal, his inimitable sleaziness in picking up women, and in a perfect match, Bill Murray’s understated writer is the ultimate dead-pan counterpoint to Hoffman’s occassionally overwrought zaniness. A crappy synth-sound track nearly ruins it, but doesn’t.
93--Platoon
The standard for post-Vietnam War movies. It takes many of the elements of The Best Years of our Lives and sets it in the time of war itself. We are confronted with the reality of humanity in war time, or rather, the lack of it. Painting with a broad brush, soldiers are either corrupt killers or disenchanted druggists, but in Charlie Sheen we have a measured lens for both worlds, reporting the facts and enabling a personal judgement on the world it portrays. 91--One
92--One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Though it seems more dated now, this is still an excellent exhibition of the madhouse, and madman Jack Nicholson’s methods. At turns charming, antagonistic, humane and anarchic, Nicholson’s McMurphy is superb. Best of all he has a host of wild men to play off of, each of whom brings their own quirks and habits to their role.
91--All Quiet on the Western Front
A wonderful combination of gritty battle reality and post-service after shock, all told from the German perspective. A humanizing look at the villanized victims not all together different from their counterparts in the opposite bunker.
(Next week 90-81, and potentially comments from people who have even less of a life than I do)
Turns out they're so wise they aren't joining us at all. So, abandoned by the only three readers we would have ever had, we're starting up 100-1 from the ground up.
My first ten are a strange brew, 30's, 50's and 70's, war movies/post war movies, shiftless criminal lowlifes and shiftless political lowlifes, heart warming family's and crossdressers galore!
With that, here are 10 movies that aren't the greatest (not by any means) but have something going for them that makes them special.
100--Bonnie & Clyde
Rather than building up the myth of history’s most famous bank robbing duo, this exposes their more sincere flaws. Insensitive, afraid, co-dependent, everything you don’t envision from the bland descriptors in books. Plus it features great performances from Beatty and Dunaway.
99--The Best Years of Our Lives
What makes this often sappy soldiers-come-home drama, worthy of a top 100 spot is the reality of it all. The romance of the army, shattered (before Vietnam) the return of heroes, quickly forgotten (before Gulf War I/II), Though the central love story rather stinks, Fredrich March and Myrna Loy (HELENA WOOH!) do have one of the great love scenes of all time: “How many times have I told you I hated you and believed it in my heart? How many times have you said you were sick and tired of me; that we were all washed up? How many times have we had to fall in love all over again?” Beautiful, and true, I think, I’ve never been married.
98--All the King’s Men
A political drama in an era when politicians were considered nigh untouchable. The dramatization of Huey Long’s life does two intersting things in equal measure. First, it makes you admire the idealism of the man, regardless of the tactics he uses to get them. And secondly, it openly confronts the viewer asking how you can approve of him with your votes.
97--The Kid
I heart Charlie Chaplin (as you’ll no doubt notice during the revelation of this list). This is the beginning of Chaplin’s real exploration of his Tramp character. Whereas most of the other movies are focused on getting the girl, this one’s focused on his fatherly instincts, and it’s extremely affecting (if not as funny)
96--King Kong
As close to an epic monster movie as you’re like to come to with the first real development of special effects in story telling. It can be forgiven the lame remakes, but what is so surprising is that the grandeur you can tell was inteded in the 30’s still resonates today.
95--Grapes of Wrath
As sincere and heartwarming as the novel it’s based on, this is a great American story (and I’m pretty sure that’s a phrase I’ll end up using about twenty times before this is over). What’s so stunning about this film though is that it pushes Tom Joad to the brink of iconic hero status, only to reassert his flawed humanity upon his exit. It’s not quite Steinbeck’s words or art but it is Henry Fonda which is close enough
94--Tootsie
Regardless of what Brent says, this is funny. Not so much Dustin Hoffman in drag, or talking about being in drag, but rather Dustin Hoffman himself. His overblown obsession with Love Canal, his inimitable sleaziness in picking up women, and in a perfect match, Bill Murray’s understated writer is the ultimate dead-pan counterpoint to Hoffman’s occassionally overwrought zaniness. A crappy synth-sound track nearly ruins it, but doesn’t.
93--Platoon
The standard for post-Vietnam War movies. It takes many of the elements of The Best Years of our Lives and sets it in the time of war itself. We are confronted with the reality of humanity in war time, or rather, the lack of it. Painting with a broad brush, soldiers are either corrupt killers or disenchanted druggists, but in Charlie Sheen we have a measured lens for both worlds, reporting the facts and enabling a personal judgement on the world it portrays. 91--One
92--One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Though it seems more dated now, this is still an excellent exhibition of the madhouse, and madman Jack Nicholson’s methods. At turns charming, antagonistic, humane and anarchic, Nicholson’s McMurphy is superb. Best of all he has a host of wild men to play off of, each of whom brings their own quirks and habits to their role.
91--All Quiet on the Western Front
A wonderful combination of gritty battle reality and post-service after shock, all told from the German perspective. A humanizing look at the villanized victims not all together different from their counterparts in the opposite bunker.
(Next week 90-81, and potentially comments from people who have even less of a life than I do)
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!
The following conversation was held one week ago in response to B. McC's response to my listing of Crash as one of my 5 movies that just missed the cut (in which he referred to both All Quiet on the Western Front and The Best Years of our Lives as "unwatchable")
--E-mail from B. MacK "Unwatchable?"
The only thing that's unwatchable is your face...okay that insult sucks, but still.
I just saw your response to one of my posts, and rather than argue with a post of yours (because I can't think of anything to argue with) I'll defend my own selections.
1st--No, we didn't see Crash together. And I think you're wrong, I think many people will remember Crash in twenty years, not for being groundbreaking (and for the record, there really are only about 30 movies that are groundbreaking and good, not everything can be a new and exciting form), but, as I said, because we like to look back at where we have been in terms of racial relations, I don't think that Guess Who's Coming to Dinner is groundbreaking either, but what makes it stick is the subject matter, and great performances from three incredible actors, Crash doesn't have three great performances, to be fair it has about two above average ones (Dillon and Cheadle) and three or four middling to above middling ones (Ludacris (god that's embarrassing to write), Terrence Howard, Sandra Bullock).
2ndly-- "All Quiet on the Western Front and The Best Years of Our Lives, are both unwatchable." What are you on? I love those movies. They aren't above 85 on my list, but they are on my list. I think they are, by far, among the best war movies I've seen. Platoon is better, yes, so is Saving Private Ryan and Patton is excellent. But at least All Quiet and the Best Years have some middle ground to claim, they aren't ham fisted odes to the glory of the soldier, they're often ham-fisted odes to the pains of the soldier, yes, but the moments of greatest tenderness (I'm thinking here of Myrna Loy's speech in "Best Years") more than make up for the overwrought sentimentality (and to be fair, when isn't Hollywood sentimentality overwrought?) (I'm mostly shocked because I would classify The Postman as unwatchable, I would classify Reindeer Games as unwatchable. All Quiet and Best Years of our Lives aren't superb, but they certainly aren't unwatchable)
Finally--As per your last question to me: "Hasn't Hollywood made 85 better than above average movies?" Yes, but not 85 better than above average movies that last. Do you think anyone in 10 years is going to remember In the Company of Men besides me? Do you think anyone does remember In the Company of Men besides me? Thank you for Smoking? Playing by Heart? 6 Degrees of Separation? Bamboozled (despite the craptastic Damon Wayans)? What's up Doc? There are these movies. These good, lovable, but in no way lasting movies. Perhaps my intial list was playing things a little too safely, but if one of the things we're thinking about is enjoyablity for the populace at large, I'm not so sure I've got a whole lot of movies to add on.
So perhaps I would do well to rephrase this tirade in terms of a question. At what point does a movie that you like, really, really like, become better than a movie that is embraced, adored and cited as a golden example of fine film making by 75% of the rest of the world. As a demonstration of this question Princess Bride V.s. Some Like it Hot: A movie we both love, versus a movie we both feel is vastly overrated. A movie that already has lasted 20 years among people who see it and love it versus a movie that has lasted 60 years on reputation alone. Any thoughts? (besides the fact that I'm a big tool who should be working on his lesson plans instead of opining on what is and is not Unwatchable?)
Chat transcript from the same morning--
9:54 AM me: See my e-mail punk?
9:55 AM Brent: yeah, i'm just starting to read it. this's the kind of fiery, hate-filled response we need on the actual blog
me: I aim to be fiery and hate-filled.
9:57 AM Brent: okay, just finished reading your email
(you should post it on the site, by the way, if only to show that we're reading and responding to this stuff.)
9:58 AM anyway, as for unwatchableness--i don't know, movies with egregious sentimentality just bore me to no end. i'd rather even watch out-and-out bad movies, i think.
9:59 AM me: Really?
Well...I can see that.
I suppose for me sentimentality isn't as much a fault as gratuitous lionizing.
10:00 AM Tears over cheers (I was going to right tears over flags, but I thought I should go for the rhyme).
Brent: but, yeah, i don't know about the list. i mean, how can i make a list that's the 100 greatest movies of all time and not include the 100 movies i like best? what would be the point of doing it any other way? any other way, you just go, "well, everyone seems to like 2001: a space odyssey and it's endured for forty years. let's put that around number three." you know?
10:01 AM i mean, this list HAS to be subjective--not based on reputation. and, yes, "tears over cheers" is much better. always go for the rhyme!
me: I can see that. I just wonder about my own taste in these sorts of things.
10:02 AM I like Playing by heart. A movie that is not enjoyed by anyone other than me and one ex-girlfriend. What the hell do you do with that?
Brent: i think you've got pretty great taste
i think i do too
and even if we don't, if we're not willing to stick up for movies we like better than other movies, what're we doing?
10:03 AM then every movie you watch, you're just going, "i like this, yeah, but i'd better see what roger ebert or joel siegel said about it before i can fully enjoy it."
10:04 AM me: Fair point.
I can agree to that in terms of list making
After all, it's not like this is being seen by anyone other than us, now is it?
Brent: right, exactly. i think two and ONLY two people are reading this blog
10:06 AM i think the reason that critics' lists are useful is that they give you a starting point. if 98 percent of critics on rotten tomatoes like a movie, you at least know that movie probably won't suck. and, with very few exceptions, if a movie made afi's list of the 400 greatest american movies, you know it probably won't suck either.
10:07 AM (i will concede, as long as we're talking about the blog, that "all quiet on the western front" isn't unwatchable. long stretches of it are actually pretty great
10:08 AM i couldn't get through "the best years of our lives," though, i really couldn't
me: You just don't know the value of Myrna Loy do you?
Just fast forward through the stuff with young people.
Brent: no, i do, i do. and i know she's from montana and all that stuff.
me: It's all about Myrna and Fred Marsch.
Brent: it's just that i had to sift through so much nonsense to get to her
10:09 AM me: Fast forward, it's like reading the action of Scarlett Letter and nothing about "the custom's house."
Brent: i also watched it right around the time i'd watched both "mrs. miniver" and "how green was my valley," so i was feeling pretty pessimistic about the film industry as a whole
me: That would do it to you, yeah.
Give it another try and avoid the younguns.
young'uns.
10:10 AM Brent: have you seen those movies? now those movies, those movies are unbearable
me: I think I made it through 10 minutes of How Green was My Valley.
That was enough.
Brent: i will. i'll give it another try. that's how much faith i have in your putatively bad taste
me: I've got to go teach "To the Virgins is to make much of Time"
Thank you for trusting my putatively bad taste.
Brent: sounds hot
me: It's nice to know you'v egot friends.
10:11 AM Brent: i wish i could teach my class about virgins
me: I'm pretty sure my teaching will involve surviving the gales of giggles from 11th grade boys.
But you don't have any virgins left is that what you're saying?
Brent: precisely
bada-bing!
me: I will include more of my favorites and less of the stuff I grudgingly let on.
But just know that it will include a Jason Lee movie.
10:12 AM Brent: that's totally cool. i'll have some dubious stuff, too, plenty of it
if they were american, i'd probably include three pink panthers
me: I've got the Lion in Winter based on Katherine Hepburn alone.
Brent: i've never seen it all the way through
10:13 AM just bits here and there
me: Peter O'Toole baby! Peter O'Toole.
And on that note...Peter O'Toole to all y'all fools.
The Rube
--E-mail from B. MacK "Unwatchable?"
The only thing that's unwatchable is your face...okay that insult sucks, but still.
I just saw your response to one of my posts, and rather than argue with a post of yours (because I can't think of anything to argue with) I'll defend my own selections.
1st--No, we didn't see Crash together. And I think you're wrong, I think many people will remember Crash in twenty years, not for being groundbreaking (and for the record, there really are only about 30 movies that are groundbreaking and good, not everything can be a new and exciting form), but, as I said, because we like to look back at where we have been in terms of racial relations, I don't think that Guess Who's Coming to Dinner is groundbreaking either, but what makes it stick is the subject matter, and great performances from three incredible actors, Crash doesn't have three great performances, to be fair it has about two above average ones (Dillon and Cheadle) and three or four middling to above middling ones (Ludacris (god that's embarrassing to write), Terrence Howard, Sandra Bullock).
2ndly-- "All Quiet on the Western Front and The Best Years of Our Lives, are both unwatchable." What are you on? I love those movies. They aren't above 85 on my list, but they are on my list. I think they are, by far, among the best war movies I've seen. Platoon is better, yes, so is Saving Private Ryan and Patton is excellent. But at least All Quiet and the Best Years have some middle ground to claim, they aren't ham fisted odes to the glory of the soldier, they're often ham-fisted odes to the pains of the soldier, yes, but the moments of greatest tenderness (I'm thinking here of Myrna Loy's speech in "Best Years") more than make up for the overwrought sentimentality (and to be fair, when isn't Hollywood sentimentality overwrought?) (I'm mostly shocked because I would classify The Postman as unwatchable, I would classify Reindeer Games as unwatchable. All Quiet and Best Years of our Lives aren't superb, but they certainly aren't unwatchable)
Finally--As per your last question to me: "Hasn't Hollywood made 85 better than above average movies?" Yes, but not 85 better than above average movies that last. Do you think anyone in 10 years is going to remember In the Company of Men besides me? Do you think anyone does remember In the Company of Men besides me? Thank you for Smoking? Playing by Heart? 6 Degrees of Separation? Bamboozled (despite the craptastic Damon Wayans)? What's up Doc? There are these movies. These good, lovable, but in no way lasting movies. Perhaps my intial list was playing things a little too safely, but if one of the things we're thinking about is enjoyablity for the populace at large, I'm not so sure I've got a whole lot of movies to add on.
So perhaps I would do well to rephrase this tirade in terms of a question. At what point does a movie that you like, really, really like, become better than a movie that is embraced, adored and cited as a golden example of fine film making by 75% of the rest of the world. As a demonstration of this question Princess Bride V.s. Some Like it Hot: A movie we both love, versus a movie we both feel is vastly overrated. A movie that already has lasted 20 years among people who see it and love it versus a movie that has lasted 60 years on reputation alone. Any thoughts? (besides the fact that I'm a big tool who should be working on his lesson plans instead of opining on what is and is not Unwatchable?)
Chat transcript from the same morning--
9:54 AM me: See my e-mail punk?
9:55 AM Brent: yeah, i'm just starting to read it. this's the kind of fiery, hate-filled response we need on the actual blog
me: I aim to be fiery and hate-filled.
9:57 AM Brent: okay, just finished reading your email
(you should post it on the site, by the way, if only to show that we're reading and responding to this stuff.)
9:58 AM anyway, as for unwatchableness--i don't know, movies with egregious sentimentality just bore me to no end. i'd rather even watch out-and-out bad movies, i think.
9:59 AM me: Really?
Well...I can see that.
I suppose for me sentimentality isn't as much a fault as gratuitous lionizing.
10:00 AM Tears over cheers (I was going to right tears over flags, but I thought I should go for the rhyme).
Brent: but, yeah, i don't know about the list. i mean, how can i make a list that's the 100 greatest movies of all time and not include the 100 movies i like best? what would be the point of doing it any other way? any other way, you just go, "well, everyone seems to like 2001: a space odyssey and it's endured for forty years. let's put that around number three." you know?
10:01 AM i mean, this list HAS to be subjective--not based on reputation. and, yes, "tears over cheers" is much better. always go for the rhyme!
me: I can see that. I just wonder about my own taste in these sorts of things.
10:02 AM I like Playing by heart. A movie that is not enjoyed by anyone other than me and one ex-girlfriend. What the hell do you do with that?
Brent: i think you've got pretty great taste
i think i do too
and even if we don't, if we're not willing to stick up for movies we like better than other movies, what're we doing?
10:03 AM then every movie you watch, you're just going, "i like this, yeah, but i'd better see what roger ebert or joel siegel said about it before i can fully enjoy it."
10:04 AM me: Fair point.
I can agree to that in terms of list making
After all, it's not like this is being seen by anyone other than us, now is it?
Brent: right, exactly. i think two and ONLY two people are reading this blog
10:06 AM i think the reason that critics' lists are useful is that they give you a starting point. if 98 percent of critics on rotten tomatoes like a movie, you at least know that movie probably won't suck. and, with very few exceptions, if a movie made afi's list of the 400 greatest american movies, you know it probably won't suck either.
10:07 AM (i will concede, as long as we're talking about the blog, that "all quiet on the western front" isn't unwatchable. long stretches of it are actually pretty great
10:08 AM i couldn't get through "the best years of our lives," though, i really couldn't
me: You just don't know the value of Myrna Loy do you?
Just fast forward through the stuff with young people.
Brent: no, i do, i do. and i know she's from montana and all that stuff.
me: It's all about Myrna and Fred Marsch.
Brent: it's just that i had to sift through so much nonsense to get to her
10:09 AM me: Fast forward, it's like reading the action of Scarlett Letter and nothing about "the custom's house."
Brent: i also watched it right around the time i'd watched both "mrs. miniver" and "how green was my valley," so i was feeling pretty pessimistic about the film industry as a whole
me: That would do it to you, yeah.
Give it another try and avoid the younguns.
young'uns.
10:10 AM Brent: have you seen those movies? now those movies, those movies are unbearable
me: I think I made it through 10 minutes of How Green was My Valley.
That was enough.
Brent: i will. i'll give it another try. that's how much faith i have in your putatively bad taste
me: I've got to go teach "To the Virgins is to make much of Time"
Thank you for trusting my putatively bad taste.
Brent: sounds hot
me: It's nice to know you'v egot friends.
10:11 AM Brent: i wish i could teach my class about virgins
me: I'm pretty sure my teaching will involve surviving the gales of giggles from 11th grade boys.
But you don't have any virgins left is that what you're saying?
Brent: precisely
bada-bing!
me: I will include more of my favorites and less of the stuff I grudgingly let on.
But just know that it will include a Jason Lee movie.
10:12 AM Brent: that's totally cool. i'll have some dubious stuff, too, plenty of it
if they were american, i'd probably include three pink panthers
me: I've got the Lion in Winter based on Katherine Hepburn alone.
Brent: i've never seen it all the way through
10:13 AM just bits here and there
me: Peter O'Toole baby! Peter O'Toole.
And on that note...Peter O'Toole to all y'all fools.
The Rube
Sunday, February 18, 2007
5 & 5
5 Near Misses
Fight Club--If there were a college-guy-pseudo-philosophical-film-institute out there, you’d be looking at a shoe-in for the top ten. Dark, haunting, with stellar performances from Ed Norton and Brad Pitt it is a fascinating look at the seriously scary undercurrent of violence in young men today.
Crash--It’s not a great film, nothing that waffles as ridiculously as this film does can be, but it’s more than a morality tale about racism. It’s a reflection of contemporary culture that may be as relevant in the future as Do the Right Thing, Jungle Fever and Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? are now (though with much less nuance and groundbreaking film techniques).
From Here to Eternity-- Two great love stories and Frank Sinatra in the arch-type forming romantic-comedy-best-friend role are nice. But for god’s sake, did you really need three hours?
Groundhog Day--A touch of slapstick, a bit of black comedy, a lot of witty dialogue and Bill Murray in tour de force form. Best of all, it keeps a touch of reality, he still snarks at the people he helps. Only Andy McDowell’s woodiness stops it from real greatness.
Mutiny on the Bounty--Heavy handed, sure. But if you can watch this without getting pumped up for Clark Gable, you’re without a pulse. If you can explain why all Polynesians are white and speak in perfect English, you’re a genius.
Honorable Mention
Good night and Good Luck--a nice way to make a political statement (see Crucible, The)
The Usual Suspects--a knockout thriller with great Kevin Spacy
Mutiny on the Bounty--Heavy handed, sure. But if you can watch this without getting pumped up for Clark Gable, you’re without a pulse. If you can explain why all Polynesians are white and speak in perfect English, you’re a genius.
Honorable Mention
Good night and Good Luck--a nice way to make a political statement (see Crucible, The)
The Usual Suspects--a knockout thriller with great Kevin Spacy
Dogma-A neat little morality play disguised as bathroom humor (or vice versa)
Memento-A nifty trick, a thrilling who dunnit, and tattoos apleanty.
Memento-A nifty trick, a thrilling who dunnit, and tattoos apleanty.
5 Gladly Omitted
Rebel Without a Cause--One of my least favorite things about movies: the undying adoration of James Dean. This is held up as his masterpiece. But he’s not the title character, and what’s more he’s so freaking whiny even as a teenager I wanted to smack him around.
Duck Soup--Perhaps it was funny its day, today the plot is ridiculously disjointed, the one-liners come off as surreal, and some of the jokes are flat out racist.
Giant--If you’re going to make a 3 hour long movie about life on a Texas oil ranch, you should have some compelling personalities. Instead this features: Rock Hudson, moaning, Elizabeth Taylor in her standard, strong, yet sensitive debutante role, and James Dean doing the only thing he ever does in movies: pout.
Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind--A masterpiece of special effects magic? There for two sequences with the spaceship, and they aren’t even impressive compared to others of the day. (The best part for me was when Richard Dryffeus’ wife left him, summarizing my feelings about the movie as a whole.)
2001: A Space Odyssey--As Brent has said, “I think you have to watch it on meth or LSD or something.” That something might just be crap. The whole move is crap. Crap acting. Crap story. Crap metaphysical bullshit at the end. Crap.
Dishonorable Mention
Philadelphia Story--okay concept, but, it’s crap,
Grease--pop crap.
Something about Mary--disgusting crap.
Last Tango in Paris--disgusting sexual crap.
Philadelphia Story--okay concept, but, it’s crap,
Grease--pop crap.
Something about Mary--disgusting crap.
Last Tango in Paris--disgusting sexual crap.
The ground rules
Each member of this site will be trying (as best as they can during hours they should be spending studying, teaching or working) to set forward a list of the 100 best movies they know.
They were each given the list of 400 for review, and have the option of including up to 10 personal selections that AFI forgot in order to make room for Grease.
But rather than starting off with the full list, we're going to start with 10 movies that didn't make the grade. 5 we love, and 5 we absolutely can't stand.
--Rube
They were each given the list of 400 for review, and have the option of including up to 10 personal selections that AFI forgot in order to make room for Grease.
But rather than starting off with the full list, we're going to start with 10 movies that didn't make the grade. 5 we love, and 5 we absolutely can't stand.
--Rube
Monday, February 05, 2007
The Gang
For those who don't know, here's a little guide to the people who will be posting in this space in the coming days/weeks/months/nanoseconds.
"Edemame"--The ex-striker turned Lawyer-to-be has a long track record of performance both on the pitch, in the classroom, and on the stage. Unfortunately, this blog is neither the pitch, nor the classroom, nor the stage, and his writing is likely to be peppered with both angry shouts at drunken Bears fans near his Chicago apartment and Aaron Sorkin references.
("It was oregano Dave, it was a dime bag worth of oregano.")
"Petercrouchgeneticanomolies"--Months ahead of his time, the poet/critic spotted what no one else did years before last year's world cup: "Peter Crouch really isn't very good" (dorm room conversation with a rabid Liverpool fan, 2005). He has already spotted a number of things about this year's AFI list: "These people are idiots." (A reference to the inclusion of Spider-Man 2 and There's Something About Mary in the 400 potential nominees) Count on more sterling insight in the time ahead.
"Likethesolid"--After being sequestered in such faraway places as Martinique; Hall, Montana; and San Francisco, California, The solidest of solids has emerged from hiding to dispense her wisdom upon the world. Ever the globetrotter, her comments will come interspersed with insights into the world around her and pleas for people to buy tours from her San Francisco educational vacation company.
"Montannie 37"--Straight out of the mean streets of Potomac, MT and Mussoorie, INDIA (no, cool abbreviation to be had there) "Montannie 37" knows a thing or two about movies. They are entertaining and compressed into frames of film. She actually knows more than that, but will need to educate young minds about the wonders of Beethoven, Bach and Brahms before focusing on the wonders of Sandler, Spade and Schnieder.
"AceCClax6"--The first newbie to post, AceCClax6 is a bad mother...oh, I'm sorry I'll shut my mouth. In the wake of yesterday's Super Bowl you may wish to revisit his post regarding the pointlessness of life around Chicago Bears fans (or maybe not, if you're a Chicago Bears fan/player/owner/cheerleader/hot dog vendor, see the January Posts under: "DAAAA Bears: Aw, who cares.") An aspiring actor, he is sure to include critiques of the fine work turned in by the luminaries on his 100 list, and more than a few comments about how even Bette Davis could be a better quarterback than Rex Grossman.
"Ben MacKenzie"--One heck of a pseudiddlyudonym
Now that you know our players, we hope you enjoy our game/pointless blatherings into the ether.
--BM
"Edemame"--The ex-striker turned Lawyer-to-be has a long track record of performance both on the pitch, in the classroom, and on the stage. Unfortunately, this blog is neither the pitch, nor the classroom, nor the stage, and his writing is likely to be peppered with both angry shouts at drunken Bears fans near his Chicago apartment and Aaron Sorkin references.
("It was oregano Dave, it was a dime bag worth of oregano.")
"Petercrouchgeneticanomolies"--Months ahead of his time, the poet/critic spotted what no one else did years before last year's world cup: "Peter Crouch really isn't very good" (dorm room conversation with a rabid Liverpool fan, 2005). He has already spotted a number of things about this year's AFI list: "These people are idiots." (A reference to the inclusion of Spider-Man 2 and There's Something About Mary in the 400 potential nominees) Count on more sterling insight in the time ahead.
"Likethesolid"--After being sequestered in such faraway places as Martinique; Hall, Montana; and San Francisco, California, The solidest of solids has emerged from hiding to dispense her wisdom upon the world. Ever the globetrotter, her comments will come interspersed with insights into the world around her and pleas for people to buy tours from her San Francisco educational vacation company.
"Montannie 37"--Straight out of the mean streets of Potomac, MT and Mussoorie, INDIA (no, cool abbreviation to be had there) "Montannie 37" knows a thing or two about movies. They are entertaining and compressed into frames of film. She actually knows more than that, but will need to educate young minds about the wonders of Beethoven, Bach and Brahms before focusing on the wonders of Sandler, Spade and Schnieder.
"AceCClax6"--The first newbie to post, AceCClax6 is a bad mother...oh, I'm sorry I'll shut my mouth. In the wake of yesterday's Super Bowl you may wish to revisit his post regarding the pointlessness of life around Chicago Bears fans (or maybe not, if you're a Chicago Bears fan/player/owner/cheerleader/hot dog vendor, see the January Posts under: "DAAAA Bears: Aw, who cares.") An aspiring actor, he is sure to include critiques of the fine work turned in by the luminaries on his 100 list, and more than a few comments about how even Bette Davis could be a better quarterback than Rex Grossman.
"Ben MacKenzie"--One heck of a pseudiddlyudonym
Now that you know our players, we hope you enjoy our game/pointless blatherings into the ether.
--BM
A complete waste of time
No, not my personal life. Below is the American Film Institute's latest foray into MEGA LISTS! Ten years after their first "100 Years" Series, they are back with 400 more candidates for the new list (much like the British Film Institute).
Given my natural predilection for listing things, I am reviving the long dormant Montana Hooligans' Debate Center for a good ol' fashioned throw down over your 100 favorite movies of all time (as selected from the list below plus a maximum of 10 movies of your own choosing). Your old favorites, "edemame" and "petercrouchgeneticanomalies," are back and I'll be introducing the rest of the crew very soon. So stay tuned for something that matters not at all.
To see the list in it's entirety with synopses and featured casts, click on the AFI link below and sign up to be an AFI member. Or be a lazy moog, and read the list I painstakingly copied out for you here.
More soon.
--The Rube
P.s. I apologize in advance for the length of the post below, try as I might I could not put more than one title on a line.
Given my natural predilection for listing things, I am reviving the long dormant Montana Hooligans' Debate Center for a good ol' fashioned throw down over your 100 favorite movies of all time (as selected from the list below plus a maximum of 10 movies of your own choosing). Your old favorites, "edemame" and "petercrouchgeneticanomalies," are back and I'll be introducing the rest of the crew very soon. So stay tuned for something that matters not at all.
To see the list in it's entirety with synopses and featured casts, click on the AFI link below and sign up to be an AFI member. Or be a lazy moog, and read the list I painstakingly copied out for you here.
More soon.
--The Rube
P.s. I apologize in advance for the length of the post below, try as I might I could not put more than one title on a line.
The List
Ace in the Hole
Adams Rib
Adventures of Robin Hood, The
Affair to Remember, An
African Queen, The
Airplane
Alien
All About Eve
All Quiet on the Western Front
All That Jazz
All the King's Men
All the President's Men
Amadeus
American Beauty
American Graffitti
American in Paris, An
Annie Hall
Apartment, The
Apocolypse Now
Appollo 13
As Good as it Gets
Atlantic City
Austin Powers
Aviator, The
Awful Truth, The
Babe
Back to the Future
Badlands
Bambi
Bandwagon, The
Bank Dick, The
Beau Geste
Beautiful Mind, A
Beauty and the Beast
Being John Malkovich
Ben-Hur (26)
Ben-Hur (59)
Best Years of our Lives, The
Big
Big Chill, The
Big Parade, The
Big Sleep, The
Birds, The
Birth of a Nation, The
Blackboard Jungle
Blade Runner
Blazing Saddles
Blue Velvet
Bonnie & Clyde
Boogie Nights
Born on the Fourth of July
Boyz in the Hood
Braveheart
Brazil
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Breakfast Club, The
Breaking Away
Bridge on the River Kwai
Bringing up Baby
Broadcast News
Brokeback Mountain
Broken Blossoms
Bull Durham
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Cabaret
Cabin in the Sky
Camille
Carrie
Casablanca
Cat Ballou
Cat People
Chariots of Fire
Cheat, The
Chicago
Chinatown
Christmas Story, A
Cinderella
Citizen Kane
City Lights
Clockwork Orange, A
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Color Purple, The
Coming Home
Conversation, The
Cool Hand Luke
Crash
Crowd, The
Dances with Wolves
Day the Earth Stood Still, The
Days of Heaven
Days of Wine and Roses
Dead Poets Society
Deer Hunter, The
Defiant Ones, The
Deliverance
Destry Rides Again
Diary of Anne Frank, The
Die Hard
Dirty Harry
Do the Right Thing
Doctor Zhivago
Dodsworth
Dog Day Afternoon
Double Indemnity
Dr. Strangelove
Driving Miss Daisy
Duck Soup
E.T.
Easy Rider
Empire Strikes Back, The
English Patient, The
Erin Brokovich
Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind
Exorcist, The
Face in the Crowd, A
Fantasia
Fargo
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Fatal Attraction
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Field of Dreams
Fight Club
Finding Nemo
Five Easy Pieces
Force of Evil
Forrest Gump
42nd Street
Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse, The
Frankenstien
Freaks
French Connection, The
Freshman, The
From Here to Eternity
Funny Girl
Fury
Gandhi
General, The
Gentleman's Agreement
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Ghostbusters
Giant
Gigi
Gilda
Gladiator
Glory
Godfather, The
Godfather Part II, The
Going My Way
Gold Rush, The
Goldfinger
Gone with the Wind
Good Night, and Good Luck
Good Will Hunting
Goodbye Mr. Chips
Goodfellas
Graduate, The
Grand Hotel
Grapes of Wrath, The
Grease
Great Dictator, The
Great Escape, The
Greed
Groundhog Day
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
Gun Crazy
Gunga Din
Halloween
Harold and Maude
Harry Potter (Azkaban)
Heiress
High Noon
His Girl Friday
Hoosiers
Hotel Rwanda
Hours, The
How Green Was My Valley
Hustler, The
I Am a Fugitive From a Chain Gang
In the Heat of the Night
Insider, The
Intolerance
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
It Happened One Night
It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World
It's a Wondeful Life
Jaws
Jazz Singer, The
Jerry Maguire
Jezebel
Jurassic Park
Kid, The
Killing Fields, The
King and I, the
King Kong
King of Comedy, The
Kramer Vs. Kramer
L.A. Confidential
Lady Eve, The
Last Emperor, The
Last Picture Show, The
Last Tango in Paris
Laura
Lawrence of Arabia
Life of Emile Zola
Lion King, The
Little Caesar
Little Foxes
Longest Day, The
LOTR (Fellowship)
LOTR (Towers)
LOTR (Return)
Lost Horizon
Lost in Translation
Lost Weekend, The
Love Story
M*A*S*H
Magnificent Ambersons, The
Maltese Falcon, The
Man for all Seasons, A
Man who Would be King, The
Manchurian Candiate, The
Manhattan
Marty
Mary Poppins
Matrix, The
McCabe and Mrs. Miller
Mean Streets
Meet Me in St. Louis
Memento
Midnight Cowboy
Mildred Pierce
Million Dollar Baby
Miracle of Morgan's Creek, The
Miracle on 34th Street
Modern Times
Moonstruck
Moulin Rouge!
Mr. Deeds Goes to Town
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Mrs. Miniver
Mutiny on the Bounty
My Darling Clementine
My Fair Lady
My Man Godfrey
Mystic River
Nashville
National Lampoon's Animal House
Network
Night at the Opera, A
Night of the Hunter, The
Night of the Living Dead
Ninotchka
North By Northwest
Notorious
Now, Voyager
On Golden Pond
On the Waterfront
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Ordinary People
Out of Africa
Out of the Past
Outlaw Josey Wales, The
Ox-Bow Incident, The
Paths of Glory
Patton
Phantom of the Opera, The
Philadelphia
Philadelphia Story, The
Pillow Talk
Pinnocchio
Pirates of the Caribbean
Place in the Sun, A
Planet of the Apes, The
Platoon
Poor Little Rich Girl, The
Porgy and Bess
Postman Always Rings Twice, The
Pride of the Yankees, The
Producers, The
Psycho
Public Enemy, The
Pulp Fiction
Queen Christina
Quiet Man, The
Raging Bull
Raiders of the Lost Ark, The
Rain Man
Raisin in the Sun, A
Ray
Rear Window
Rebecca
Rebel Without a Cause
Red River
Reds
Requiem for a Dream
Return of the Secaucus 7
Right Stuff, The
Risky Business
Road to Morocco
Rocky
Rocky Horror Picture Show, The
Roman Holiday
Rosemary's Baby
Rushmore
Safety Last
Saturday Night Fever
Saving Private Ryan
Scarface: The Shame of a Nation
Scarlet Empress, The
Schindler's List
Searchers, The
Sense and Sensibility
Sergeant York
Sex, Lies and Videotape
Shadow of a Doubt
Shakespeare in Love
Shane
Shawshank Redemption, The
She Done Him Wrong
Sherlock Jr.
Shining, The
Shrek
Sideways
Silence of the Lambs, The
Singin' in the Rain
Sixth Sense, The
Sleeper
Sleepless in Seattle
Snow White and the 7 Dwarves
Some Like it Hot
Sons of the Desert
Sophie's Choice
Sound of Music, The
Sounder
Spartacus
Spider-Man 2
Spleandor in the Grass
Stagecoach
Stalag 17
Stand By Me
Star is Born, A
Star Wars
Sting, The
Stormy Weather
Stranger than Paradise
Strangers on a Train
Streetcar Named Desire, A
Sullivan's Travels
Sunrise
Sunset Blvd.
Sweet Smell of Success, The
Swing Time
Taxi Driver
Ten Commandments, The
Terminator 2
Terms of Endearment
Thelma & Louise
There's Something About Mary
Thief of Bagdad, The
Thin Man, The
Thing from Another World, The
Third Man, The
This is Spinal Tap
Three Kings
Titanic
To Be or Not To Be
To Have and Have Not
To Kill a Mockingbird
Tootsie
Top Hat
Touch of Evil
Toy Story
Traffic
Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The
Trouble in Paradise
12 Angry Men
Twelve O'Clock High
2001: A Space Odyssey
Unforgiven
Usual Suspects, The
Vertigo
Way We Were, The
West Side Story
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
When Harry Met Sally…
White Heat
Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf?
Wild Bunch, The
Winchester '73
Wind, The
Wings
Witness
Wizard of Oz, The
Woman of the Year
Woman Under the Influence, A
Wuthering Heights
Yankee Doodle Dandy
You Can't Take it With You
Young Frankenstein
Young Mr. Lincoln
Monday, January 22, 2007
DAAAAAAAAA BEARS!!!! ahh who cares?
So as I was working on an 8-10 dramaturgical textual analysis of True West by Sam Shepard. The dorms were filled with calls like DA BEARS, REX YOU FUCK NUT!!! and of course DITKA I WANT YOUR MAN-BABIES. I realized something playoff football is really the only time to watch. Really playoff time for any professional sport these days is the only time to watch. It's that time when ignorant buisness men and women suddenly realize "oh shit we have a good team" and they proceed to get decked out it their teams colors for a couple of weeks then through those souveniers in the closet till the next time thier team reappears in the playoffs. It also seems unfair to those loyal fans through thick and thin who have to watch thier team from the bar because they can't get seats because of those wealthy buisnessmen and women. So I ask you why can't we televise sporting events where every single game is sold out like...dare I say it...Soccer. I know I know it may seem radical but I think if we can start to look at the sports that aren't getting all the publicity that the major leaugue ones are maybe lacrosse, soccer, and of course college sports I think the more people can appreciate team spirit because those are the games that are the most exciting to watch. Then I realized it was 2:40 in the morning and I only had 4 pages done, so who cares?
How's that for my first post there smellypants
How's that for my first post there smellypants
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Don't Call it a Comeback
I'm not sure why I latched on to that LL Cool J song with such a fervor but lord knows that I have.
The Montanan Hooligans' Debate Center, so long a dormant and insignificant speck in the gigantic universe of cosmic nothingness that is "blogger.com" is at last ready to make it's grand re-entry.
Once again we are prepared to take on all comers for the title of "Least Important Website On the Internet."
Once again we are prepared to howl our opinions into the eternal ether of time and space only to be greeted by a loud, wet "Pbbbbbt."
Watch this space in the coming weeks for a spirited--or at least, moronic--debate over the 100 greatest films in the American Film cannon. Brent McCafferty, the adorable scamp who so ably mocked Ronaldo with something other than "Fatty", will be back and I will do my level best to involve others of an equal ability. Once the monkey's at typewriters idea fails, I will contact good friends of ours with a similar love of film to engage in witty verbal repartee whilst Brent and I sit back repeating: "Dude, 2001: A Space Odyssey sucked," again and again.
The American Film institute will release a new list of the 100 greatest movies of all time this summer, but why wait for that list when you can laugh at the idiocy of Montanan Expatriate yokels.
We'll be speaking again soon to you, oh bottomless receptacle of all things totally unnecessary, you ol' vacuous nothingness you.
Ben
P.s. I got a word of the day calendar for Christmas...can you tell?
The Montanan Hooligans' Debate Center, so long a dormant and insignificant speck in the gigantic universe of cosmic nothingness that is "blogger.com" is at last ready to make it's grand re-entry.
Once again we are prepared to take on all comers for the title of "Least Important Website On the Internet."
Once again we are prepared to howl our opinions into the eternal ether of time and space only to be greeted by a loud, wet "Pbbbbbt."
Watch this space in the coming weeks for a spirited--or at least, moronic--debate over the 100 greatest films in the American Film cannon. Brent McCafferty, the adorable scamp who so ably mocked Ronaldo with something other than "Fatty", will be back and I will do my level best to involve others of an equal ability. Once the monkey's at typewriters idea fails, I will contact good friends of ours with a similar love of film to engage in witty verbal repartee whilst Brent and I sit back repeating: "Dude, 2001: A Space Odyssey sucked," again and again.
The American Film institute will release a new list of the 100 greatest movies of all time this summer, but why wait for that list when you can laugh at the idiocy of Montanan Expatriate yokels.
We'll be speaking again soon to you, oh bottomless receptacle of all things totally unnecessary, you ol' vacuous nothingness you.
Ben
P.s. I got a word of the day calendar for Christmas...can you tell?
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Inhuman Interest
Reading through Brent's last post should give those of you who are new to the site (all, 1...2... 0 of you) a fairly good sense of our different characters.
I'm not so much as optimist or idealist as much as a daydreamer who fantasizes about a utopian society devoid of such banal, asinine ninnies as Skip Bayless and the equally loathed Bill Simmons (along with 99.5% of the sportswriters in North America), and then gives voice to those daydreams.
Brent is the man who reminds me that, oh yeah, we live in the real world. Where Bayless / Simmons and all the other blathering idealogues are granted prime-time access to the mainstream public and those who accept various points of view are contained within their small niche blathering incoherently about the blathering idealogues that they dislike.
Though I sadly agree with Brent's assessment of our proudly polarized society (where (according to the master polarizer, Stephen Colbert) a house divided against itself is called "a duplex") I would like to provide what I think is an explanation of the dearth of Soccer columnists in the U.s.
It's not merely the mundanity of "Chivas V.s. Real Salt Lake" (which, in my opinion, is perhaps the most innapropriate name for a team since the Utah Jazz) it's the desperation with which we turn to the sports page these days.
It's a shock and awe journalism world now and you can see it clearly in the sports page. Either it's a scandal (steroids, Maurice Clarett, Terrell Owens announcing that he hates Tuna Fish and thus creating fodder for 9,000,000 articles in the next three weeks) that goes under news, or a goopy, supercillious, sepia-toned, up-from-hardship tale (the kind that NBC specializes in cramming down your throught during the Olympics) that goes under human interests.
Soccer, in the U.s., lacks that panache. They go and they play the game. No one's doped up (how could we tell?), no one's staging a holdout or presenting themselves as a dynamic presence, and no one has a Hortio Alger story because (so far) American soccer has been built on the suburbs. This is not to say that such stories don't exist (soccer's omnipresence in Europe and Africa shows just how common scandals (match fixing, team swapping, etc.) and goop (rising stars, new acquisitions, etc.) can be popular). But, with nightly press conferences held after every game and live remotes from practice fields discussing pulled groins in the middle of July, these stories are so readily accessible in other sports that it takes a top notch writer to bring the Soccer stories to life.
And when's the last time America produced a top notch sports writer?
I'm not so much as optimist or idealist as much as a daydreamer who fantasizes about a utopian society devoid of such banal, asinine ninnies as Skip Bayless and the equally loathed Bill Simmons (along with 99.5% of the sportswriters in North America), and then gives voice to those daydreams.
Brent is the man who reminds me that, oh yeah, we live in the real world. Where Bayless / Simmons and all the other blathering idealogues are granted prime-time access to the mainstream public and those who accept various points of view are contained within their small niche blathering incoherently about the blathering idealogues that they dislike.
Though I sadly agree with Brent's assessment of our proudly polarized society (where (according to the master polarizer, Stephen Colbert) a house divided against itself is called "a duplex") I would like to provide what I think is an explanation of the dearth of Soccer columnists in the U.s.
It's not merely the mundanity of "Chivas V.s. Real Salt Lake" (which, in my opinion, is perhaps the most innapropriate name for a team since the Utah Jazz) it's the desperation with which we turn to the sports page these days.
It's a shock and awe journalism world now and you can see it clearly in the sports page. Either it's a scandal (steroids, Maurice Clarett, Terrell Owens announcing that he hates Tuna Fish and thus creating fodder for 9,000,000 articles in the next three weeks) that goes under news, or a goopy, supercillious, sepia-toned, up-from-hardship tale (the kind that NBC specializes in cramming down your throught during the Olympics) that goes under human interests.
Soccer, in the U.s., lacks that panache. They go and they play the game. No one's doped up (how could we tell?), no one's staging a holdout or presenting themselves as a dynamic presence, and no one has a Hortio Alger story because (so far) American soccer has been built on the suburbs. This is not to say that such stories don't exist (soccer's omnipresence in Europe and Africa shows just how common scandals (match fixing, team swapping, etc.) and goop (rising stars, new acquisitions, etc.) can be popular). But, with nightly press conferences held after every game and live remotes from practice fields discussing pulled groins in the middle of July, these stories are so readily accessible in other sports that it takes a top notch writer to bring the Soccer stories to life.
And when's the last time America produced a top notch sports writer?
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Monday, July 24, 2006
Changing Tact
As the most perceptive of you have no doubt noticed the heading and description of this blog has now changed. With the World Cup over one must move on, but in what direction?
*Stay with Soccer?--Not when the three authors of this page live at great distance from intense rivalries and passion (Unless you count Chicago V. LA or Goa V. Dehli) with even fewer opportunities to watch soccer on a regular basis. (Law Student/Grad Student/English Teacher...these are not the careers designed for cable subscriptions)
*Broaden our range to all sports?--Possible, but again, unless there's a rabid audience out there for commentary on Cricket/hopeless college programs think again.
*Broaden our range to all topics, just so long as we can bicker about them?--Now there's an idea we can get behind.
Conveniently enough I've just read a book that could start debates at least between ourselves and perhaps among others as well. How Soccer Explains the World by Franklin Foer is superbly written, eloquent, charming, personal and intelligent. It chronicles the development of socer aorund the world and it's relationship to the new global culture exploring the struggles of hooligans, the corruption of leaders (including a prediction of the fall of Juventus/AC Milan before it happened), and the opportunities now afforded to Africans, Arabs and Americans.
It's the last one that I want to mention. Foer mentions that the class/culture struggles in the U.s. can be traced (in part) to a schism between Liberal/ Yuppie/ East & West Coast/ Elitest/ Smug/ Globalized/ Soccer Fans, and Conservitive/Red Neck/ Fly over Country/ Down home/ Countryified/ Insular/ Fans of everything else. This is a simplification of course, but it's an interesting point (and besides, this is a blog, simplification is my bread and butter).
I read this and became befuddled (a nice change from my normally fuddled state), I've always lived in "Fly over country," and I like to think of myself as down-home, countryified and an Uber-fan of all things baseball/College basketball. But after thinking about it, I am hyper-liberal, upper-crust and so Gloablized that I'm part of an outsourcing of teaching positions. So naturally there's a middle ground.
So my question, veering from Soccer to everything else is this: "Can those of us with dual personalities (Red Staters with liberal beliefs and standards/Blue Staters with traditional beliefs and standards) bring harmony based on what we know and understand about both sides of the issue or are we doomed to be fenced in by Barbara Striesand on one side and the ever expanding mustache of Denny Rehberg (R-MT) on the other?"
Put it another way: "If the Moderates challenged the extremists to an atheletic olympiad who would win?" Given of course a moderate team of: Jon Stewart, Joe Biden, John McCain (maybe) and 80% of the populace against left-wing radicals led by: that white guy in College with dredlocks and a 5 foot aura of funk around him and 80 % of Hollywood, and right-wing radicals led by: The honorable Rev. Falwell and the 5 foot aura of funky bigotry around him and of course Denny Rheberg's stache.
Discuss.
*Stay with Soccer?--Not when the three authors of this page live at great distance from intense rivalries and passion (Unless you count Chicago V. LA or Goa V. Dehli) with even fewer opportunities to watch soccer on a regular basis. (Law Student/Grad Student/English Teacher...these are not the careers designed for cable subscriptions)
*Broaden our range to all sports?--Possible, but again, unless there's a rabid audience out there for commentary on Cricket/hopeless college programs think again.
*Broaden our range to all topics, just so long as we can bicker about them?--Now there's an idea we can get behind.
Conveniently enough I've just read a book that could start debates at least between ourselves and perhaps among others as well. How Soccer Explains the World by Franklin Foer is superbly written, eloquent, charming, personal and intelligent. It chronicles the development of socer aorund the world and it's relationship to the new global culture exploring the struggles of hooligans, the corruption of leaders (including a prediction of the fall of Juventus/AC Milan before it happened), and the opportunities now afforded to Africans, Arabs and Americans.
It's the last one that I want to mention. Foer mentions that the class/culture struggles in the U.s. can be traced (in part) to a schism between Liberal/ Yuppie/ East & West Coast/ Elitest/ Smug/ Globalized/ Soccer Fans, and Conservitive/Red Neck/ Fly over Country/ Down home/ Countryified/ Insular/ Fans of everything else. This is a simplification of course, but it's an interesting point (and besides, this is a blog, simplification is my bread and butter).
I read this and became befuddled (a nice change from my normally fuddled state), I've always lived in "Fly over country," and I like to think of myself as down-home, countryified and an Uber-fan of all things baseball/College basketball. But after thinking about it, I am hyper-liberal, upper-crust and so Gloablized that I'm part of an outsourcing of teaching positions. So naturally there's a middle ground.
So my question, veering from Soccer to everything else is this: "Can those of us with dual personalities (Red Staters with liberal beliefs and standards/Blue Staters with traditional beliefs and standards) bring harmony based on what we know and understand about both sides of the issue or are we doomed to be fenced in by Barbara Striesand on one side and the ever expanding mustache of Denny Rehberg (R-MT) on the other?"
Put it another way: "If the Moderates challenged the extremists to an atheletic olympiad who would win?" Given of course a moderate team of: Jon Stewart, Joe Biden, John McCain (maybe) and 80% of the populace against left-wing radicals led by: that white guy in College with dredlocks and a 5 foot aura of funk around him and 80 % of Hollywood, and right-wing radicals led by: The honorable Rev. Falwell and the 5 foot aura of funky bigotry around him and of course Denny Rheberg's stache.
Discuss.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
3 AM
So, living in India (Cricket hotbed of the world) I was surprised to find that they are just as stunned at the growing popularity of Soccer as we are in the states. Thoguh perhaps, the shouldn't be.
I was in the last throes of jetlag, semi-conscious and completely haggard when I was invited by a few native Indians who work at my new School to watch the match (at midnight local time), naturally I said yes. We were joined by two brits and later went over the match in detail with Canucks, Aussies and Kiwis (people normally obsessed with hockey and rugby).
Nevertheless there was just as much passion, joy and dismay at Zizou's jackassedness at 3 AM in a tiny town in India as there was on the Champs d'Elysses or at any Italian Piazza (except for maybe Mike).
Sure it would have been great to see Les Blus pull it off, but I'm just jetlagged enough that I'm happier to focus on fans and our glee than on the actual match itself.
Much love to all
Ben
I was in the last throes of jetlag, semi-conscious and completely haggard when I was invited by a few native Indians who work at my new School to watch the match (at midnight local time), naturally I said yes. We were joined by two brits and later went over the match in detail with Canucks, Aussies and Kiwis (people normally obsessed with hockey and rugby).
Nevertheless there was just as much passion, joy and dismay at Zizou's jackassedness at 3 AM in a tiny town in India as there was on the Champs d'Elysses or at any Italian Piazza (except for maybe Mike).
Sure it would have been great to see Les Blus pull it off, but I'm just jetlagged enough that I'm happier to focus on fans and our glee than on the actual match itself.
Much love to all
Ben
Monday, July 10, 2006
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
And then there were two...
Two snooty, vaguely irritating European countries vying for Soccer supremacy (PINCH ME!).
All in all that was some pretty exhilarating futball to see during the semis. And though most of Germany/Italy was a snoozefest, the final surges by both sides where extremely dramatic. Meanwhile, the shockingly clean calls issued by everyone's least favorite Uruguayan (the same one who hosed the US against Italy) allowed France and Portugal to play open and free. Sure there were moments of absolute terror for anyone rooting against the Flopper's Final (i.e. any moment the ball went towards Fabien Barthez) but by and large this has been a set up for some (hopefully) fantastic final matches.
Sure, there were still moments that were, quite simply, UG-ly. Sure it was hard to hear Dave O'Brien talk about Odonkor's "flaming red boots," and the 45 second close up on Frank Ribery was completely overkill. But those fleeting seconds are easily forgotten when you watch Zidane continue a magical run towards retirement and when you savor the Italian team's reenactment of Ceaser's death every few minutes.
And in true world class tournament fashion 7 beloved friends and I tore our hair out diagramming every possible match to arrive at finals that included neither Italy nor France, my beloved friend Jeff said quite simply and plainly: "France." That was his one pick, nothing more and nothing less, just "France." So ladies and gentlemen, take it from my pal the Air Force pilot and repeat after me: "Allez les Blus!" Allez Zizou! Allez Henry! Allez Ribery!
ALLEZ FUTBALL!
All in all that was some pretty exhilarating futball to see during the semis. And though most of Germany/Italy was a snoozefest, the final surges by both sides where extremely dramatic. Meanwhile, the shockingly clean calls issued by everyone's least favorite Uruguayan (the same one who hosed the US against Italy) allowed France and Portugal to play open and free. Sure there were moments of absolute terror for anyone rooting against the Flopper's Final (i.e. any moment the ball went towards Fabien Barthez) but by and large this has been a set up for some (hopefully) fantastic final matches.
Sure, there were still moments that were, quite simply, UG-ly. Sure it was hard to hear Dave O'Brien talk about Odonkor's "flaming red boots," and the 45 second close up on Frank Ribery was completely overkill. But those fleeting seconds are easily forgotten when you watch Zidane continue a magical run towards retirement and when you savor the Italian team's reenactment of Ceaser's death every few minutes.
And in true world class tournament fashion 7 beloved friends and I tore our hair out diagramming every possible match to arrive at finals that included neither Italy nor France, my beloved friend Jeff said quite simply and plainly: "France." That was his one pick, nothing more and nothing less, just "France." So ladies and gentlemen, take it from my pal the Air Force pilot and repeat after me: "Allez les Blus!" Allez Zizou! Allez Henry! Allez Ribery!
ALLEZ FUTBALL!
Monday, July 03, 2006
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