Tagline: Come Play!
What the Tagline Should be: Come play, get drunk, see a bunch of nature and watch some football...you know...whatever!
You Tube Plea:
Pros: Australia offers a lot of the things FIFA likes best: a burgeoning market for its product, money, distinctive culture, money, adorable children who want to learn the game, money and pretty girls. (That's the problem with Qatar, not enough bikinis!) Other benefits are spelled out in greater depth in this video with (speaking of pretty girls) Nicole Kidman. Undoubtedly the most important benefit is the potential riches involved in turning a sports mad nation into a futbol mad nation. Do that and, in the words of Rod Blagoevich "YOU ARE F*&*ING GOLDEN!". Moreover an Australian cup would offer a small nod to the forgotten step child of FIFA, the Oceania Football Confederation (otherwise known as New Zealand and the Pips). Finally, judging by that promotional video, Australians have superhuman kicking abilities...it would behoove us all to stay on their good side.
Cons: That whole "burgeoning market" thing cuts two ways. While futbol's increasingly popular down under, it still trails Aussie Rules Football, Rugby, Surfing and Drinking Beer as the nation's primary entertainments. For better or worse, Australia is banking on the World Cup to spur interest in the game and push soccer to number one (I would mock this...but America's doing the same thing). Speaking of the land up over, Australia is generally seen to be in direct competition with the US (with Japan, Korea and Qatar, lagging behind). Normally, this would be great given international antipathy towards rewarding the US with still more money. BUT a quick look at the websites of each bid show a stark contrast in the reception the cup might receive in each country. Over 1 Million people have signed a petition on the US site, the petition on Australia's site has 325,000 (I know our education system stinks...but 1 Million is still more than 325,000...right?). And while Australia's connection with Oceania seems like a bonus, the recent banishment of Oceania's chief from voting on the World Cup host might turn that into an albatross.
Summary: It's a good bid, fair dinkum. But the lack of passion might bite them in the bum.
Chances: FIFA loves growing the game, so even with an uncertain national popularity, the promise of liquor, money and pretty girls, might make Australia too good to pass up.
Next Time on Meet the Bids: Russia 2018 (In Russian World Cup Bid...Futbol Plays YOU!!!)