Happy Trails in 2016: (142-116) One Shining Moment

The following is as close as we really come to an In Memorium tribute for World Cup competitors. After all, while "One Shining Moment" Montages love to end with a a thrilling buzzer beater and confetti explosion, they just don't pop without a crying flutist or two.

Here now are the World Cup corollaries to said sad flautists.

142 'Ilaa Liqaaa, Kuwait 2014 Finish: #132 (-10)

Why they lost: While they were riding high in second place of their group last October, Kuwait's government (read: the royal family) got involved in the FA again. (Exactly what they did is unclear, as every press release and wire report uses vague generalities to excuse the actions.) So, for the third time in 10 years, Kuwait was disqualified from all tournaments and competitions they were entered in. (Oddly almost held on to their runner-up status, a Lebanon draw on the final match day, just barely knocking them back into third).

What we'll miss: The excitement of dream casting the HBO Mini-series/Movie about the Kuwaiti FA offices. Please let this be an excuse to cast Shah Rukh Khan....PLEASE!

141 Long Jay Gay, Bhutan: 2014 Finish #205 (+64)

Why they lost: The Thunder Dragons may have had their heads turned a bit by all the positive press coverage. But that kind of coverage will come your way if you win your first games ever in FIFA qualifications (even if they're won against Sri Lanka). After the BBC, ESPN and all manner of mainstream (and more obscure) media gush over them, it's hard not to be excited.

What we'll miss: Changlimath Stadium. I mean...we'll see it again at the 2046 World Cup when 80% of the Earth is under rising sea levels and all tournaments are hosted by mountain ranges. But who knows how often we'll connect again before that?

140 Lia Suhn Hao-y, Cambodia: 2014 Finish #199 (+59)

Why they lost: The Angkor Warriors have made some serious strides since we last saw them get dummped out of the competition by Laos four years ago. Still, a porous defense ceding 27 goals nearly half of which came in two ties against Syria, is hard to over come.

What we'll miss: The seven way Phenom Penh Derby is practically a league unto itself, but while that particular drama mostly plays out in the streets of the capital, the music of Cambodian-style Pop band Dengue Fever, is for everyone!

139 Jaigen, Chinese Taipei: 2014 Finish #197 (+58)

Why they lost: Taipei, or as it's better known from the labels on your shirts/your kids toys "Taiwan" took another step this round. Moving in to the second round after beating Brunei. However, and to state the obvious, second round teams were better than Brunei, and despite scoring several goals on the road, a drought at home left them unable to capitalize on any kind of home field advantage.

What we'll miss: We're not China-phobes or anything, but c'mon, a little pro-democracy tweaking of President Xi Jingping, is always a plus in our books.

Carter/Sohel...similar positions

138 Bhalo Thakben, Bangladesh: 2014 #180 (+42)

Why they lost: The final 590 minutes of Bangladesh's qualifying run passed in an offensive malaise that left even Jimmy Carter speechless (YEAH! obscure Carter Joke!). Ultimately falling: five-nil; four-nil; two-nil; five-nil; four-nil; and eight-nil to a Jordan crew that clearly missed the memo about goals against the worst team in your group not counting. In retrospect giving six out of seven games to keepers younger than 25 might have given experience, if not confidence to the young team.

What we'll miss: First choice goalkeeper Shahidul Yousuf Alam Sohel. Not because he was incredible, but because we expect he'll be going into witness relocation programs.

137 Hau ba lai, Timor-Leste: 2014 Finish #203 (+66)

Why they lost: When the Little Samba Island was going well, they were really going well. A famous draw in Kuala Lumpur and a draw at home against Palestine was a vast improvement on the last cup. Even narrow defeats at home to Malaysia and UAE were things to take pride in. But when they went wrong, they really went wrong, with a 10-0 drubbing AT HOME to Saudi Arabia the final straw.

What we'll miss: Samba-offs in place of penalty shoot outs. Honestly, it seems about as fair, and possibly more dramatic (especially if we're dealing with Russian judges). 

136 Ila Al-Liqa, Yemen: 2014 Finish #179 (+43)

Al-Sarori celebrates, that much closer
to a college mixer!

Why they lost: The Red of Yemen didn't have much offense, and when both of their goals at this stage came from 40 minutes from substitute striker Ahmed Al-Sarori. To be fair he's only 17, and better still, he's only 17.

What we'll miss: With the rise of Al-Sarori, we may just be missing the final bottoming out of Yemen. 14 years ago they were dangerous, now they're increasingly an afterthought. Easier to miss the trough than the peak.

135 Phir Milenge, India: 2014 Finish #183 (+48)

Why they lost: India's biggest sports juggernaut: T20 Cricket. Great for a cricket-crazed country and people who love instant offense. Lousy for a minor soccer bubble and anyone who likes a good tea interval. (Sidebar: India also holds a unique distinction, the first team I've ever seen who had to forfeit a game 3-0 after losing it in real time...3-0)

What we'll miss: The probable swan song for Captain and 50 goal legend of the Blue Tigers: Sunil Chettri. Cricket players get half-centuries all the time, Chettri (31) may not be around long enough to add to his tally in another Cup Qualifier.

134 Selamat Tinggal, Malaysia: 2014 Finish #182 (+48)

Really hope they're debating whether
they like "Comet" or "Weeping Willows"
better.

Why they lost: If your country gets shellacked 10-0, you're pretty much cooked in World Cup qualifying. If your country gets shellacked 10-0, you're probably going to be pretty upset with how your team and Federation are working. If you get shellacked 10-0, you might be tempted to show how upset you are at the next home match. However, if you get shellacked 10-0, then show your displeasure by throwing flares and smoke bombs on the pitch while your crew looks for a late equalizer against the best team in the group....well...you're not helping much.

What we'll miss: A far more angsty counterpoint to the most frustrated American ultras.

133 Sok Dee Der, Laos: 2014 Finish #191 (+58)

Why they lost: Laos saved their three goal outburst for a game that did not occur, winning by forfeit over Kuwait...and yet Kuwait still managed to finish six points clear of Tim Xad.

What we'll miss: The statute of limitations running out on the "New Laos National Stadium", constructed in 2009. I never thought I'd see the need for naming rights so clearly. Speaking of...any one want to go in on the naming rights for Laos' National Stadium with me?

132 To Bozdid, Tajikistan: 2014 Finish #186 (+54)

Why they lost: Squished amongst other former Soviet states, Tajikstan has the smallest landmass, relatively minor economic advantages, and a beloved leader/despot who has ruled for 22 years. I'm not saying they're a little disadvantaged in investments in youth soccer, but I'm guessing other things come before set-piece training.

What we'll miss: Despite a clear decline in their form from the last cycle, the Persian Lions have invested heavily in youth development, going so far as to make their U-19 side double up as a club team in their top division. On top of all this, they're making the team the focal point of their the only HD network in Tajikistan, so what I'll really miss is discovering exactly what passes for a "Hot Take" in Tajik color commentary.

131 Dhanee, Maldives: 2014 Finish #187 (+56)

Watch the sunset, or the news....
No brianer in the Maldives

Why they lost: Ahhh, Maldives, pretty enough to be my retirement home, tumultuous enough to be my nightmare. (Seriously, I know I just did a little mini-poli-sci rant about Tajikistan, but the Maldives makes that mess look as controversial as a Rick Santorum sweater vest.) There's a former president in jail for terrorism, a former vice president under arrest for plotting the assassination of his OWN president, and a growing hunger for the authoritarian, China-cuddling, radical-Islam preaching, son-of-a-former-dictator current president to lead the way. With all this unrest it was nice to have Bhutan to beat up on.

What we'll miss: Ali Ashfaq. Now, as he was before, the most interesting striker in Southeast Asia. And possibly, the most trustworthy public persona in the Maldives. 

130 Adios Esta, Guam; 2014 Finish 207 (+ 77)

Why they lost: Like Bhutan, Guam didn't even enter last cycle's tournament. Unlike Bhutan, Guam won a game in this round. They actually won two! And won a draw against Oman to be well positioned for advancement half-way through the round. Then the wheels came off the wagon, right around the time they went on the road.  Dropping their final four matches without scoring a goal (notably, talisman/LA Galaxy player AJ DeLaGarza did not travel for those games).

What we'll miss: Having a little slice of America kick butt in a totally different confederation: USA! USA! USA!

129 Tam Biet,  Vietnam: 2014 Finish 181 (+52)

Why they lost: If you ask the Vietnamese board, it probably has something to do with former coach Toshiya Miura's poor player development. Despite a solid 24 points out of 14 matches under Miura, and a better record with the U-23's, the board canned Miura after getting bounced out of the U-23 championships in January of this year. To be fair, under coach Nguyen Hu Thang, the first local manager to cover a Cup qualifier in over a decade, they did record a thumping 4-1 win over Taipei, and a narrow 1-0 loss away to Iraq.

Nguyen Van Toan...Nào Loons!!

What we'll miss: Scouting opportunities. (Under the theory that Vietnam has a clearer development system than Laos, I thought my local club side--Minnesota United--could consider taking on players who appeal to a large segment of the local fan base.) Two of the most promising candidates: Luong Xuan Truong and Do Duy Manh have already been poached by the J-League and the K-League respectively, but their fellow Academy member Nguyen Van Toan has also been called up...I'm just saying...

128 Thwa Dau Me, Myanmar: 2014 Finish 184 (+56)

Why they lost: Four years ago, we pinned their defeat on that all encompassing of villains, the military junta. This time, it's a little more logical: deprived of all home matches (see the in-match violence that contributed to their elimination last time round), it was vital to gather up as many road points as possible. But a late goal in Lebanon and a fail to scramble home a winner in Laos left them in fourth rather than second.

What we'll miss: Awkward photo ops for Aun San Suu Kyi. Nobel Peace Prize Winner, Parlimentarian, "State Counselor"/Power-Behind-the-Throne in Myanmar's politics, and burgeoning football fan!

127 Khuda Hafez, Afghanistan: 2014 Finish #200 (+73)

Why they lost: Still young, still growing, still optimistic, Afghanistan notched their first point ever in World Cup Qualifying. In fact they notched 9 points in 8 games, both massive improvements for the team. The downside is that the points all came against fellow lower tier squads like Cambodia and Singapore while juggernaut South Korea (and shocking story Syria) ran roughshod over them. 

What we'll miss: With players bringing their training from refugee locales around the world, the mixing of Afghanistan's Swedish, German, Dutch, and American roots makes them a veritable stew...or since we're talking about Afghanistan...a Chalau for the masses.

The fall of Bahrain is, indeed,
a head scratcher.

126 Allah Yisallimak, Bahrain: 2014 Finish #130 (+4)

Why they lost: With so many other rounds of qualifying knocked off before Asia wrapped up, it looks like Bahrain got a little better...but don't be fooled, this is a sharp decline from a team that twice in the last decade, was one match away from a World Cup debut. Maybe their golden generation has rusted, maybe they're despondent that Sheikh Salman wasn't elected as president, or maybe they're the poster children for how oodles of FIFA money can't buy you a trip to the big show.

What we'll miss: Poking fun at Sheikh Salman, I mean...c'mon, he was nearly the most powerful man in football AND a Human Rights abuser! Such a better villain than another bald European linked to offshore bank accounts again...c'mon let's not totally buy into cliches, people!!

125 Paalam, Phillipines: 2014 Finish #185 (+60)

Why they lost: I was rather bullish on The Azkals/Street Dogs at the start of this round, but they whimpered on the way to the finish line through a stunning 1-0 loss at home to bottom of the heap Yemen. 

What we'll miss: The logo that appears on most national team broadcasts: that's a dog that looks like it would even take a bite out of Manny Pacquiao!

124 Smell Ya Later, Singapore: 2014 Finish #138 (+14)

Why they lost: At the end of the day, second place Syria was simply better than Singapore. Big defeats home and away broke up a promising opening half of the campaign, and punctuated a miserable final three defeats in a row.

What we'll miss: I would say the by now psychic team chemistry between 120+ cap duo Baihakki Khaizan and Shahril Izak, but as they both play for the Malaysia's favorite B Team (Johor Da'Rul Tazim) they're nearly inescapable. So I'll just say the dream of covering a game in Singapore and writing off drinks at the Raffles bar as a business expense.

123 'Illa-liqaa, Lebanon: 2014 Finish #95 (-28)

Coming soon to a box near Beriut

Why they lost: As their greatest offensive outburst (a seven goal thumping of Laos) Lebanon can thrive when playing in from the wings, but their inability to repeat that feat against non-Laotian sides like Kuwait and South Korea tamped down their goal difference and stopped them from making their second straight trip to the last round of qualification.

What we'll miss: A host of young debutantes have a chance to make a real impact on the Cedars in years to come. Most notable FSV Mainz's goal keeper in waiting: Daniel Zeaiter.

122 Ila Al-Liqa, Palestine: 2014 Finish #178 (+56)

Why they lost: Palestine needs a much wider pipeline into the burgeoning world of Chilean/Palestinian prospects. The path blazed by defender Alexis Norambuena has now led to Yashir Pinto, who netted two goals in his first ever national cap.

What we'll miss: Any chance to see more matches in the Palestinian territory. After all, if they can host a match in Jerusalem or Hebron, it's because they have a safe environment for foreign teams, referees, journalists and observers. And the more safety there is in Palestine, the better for everyone.

121 Sag Bolun, Turkmenistan: 2014 Finish #177 (+56)

So Excited, But we Can Actually Hide It.

Why they lost: Turkmenistan was at their best at their home stadium in Ashgabat, City of White Marble and gargantuan golden statues of former President for Life Saparmurat Niyazov (who may also have named himself President of the After-Life, reports are vague). Had they been able to take all that white marble with them to Tehran, Oman or Guam, they might not have lost those matches.

What we'll miss: Following up a match in Turkmenistan with that most exciting of Turkemn activities: Bumper Cars

120 Jakshy Kalyngydzar, Kyrgyzstan.  2014 Finish: 188 (+68)

Why they lost: As we all know, as FC Dordoi goes, so goes the Kyrgyz national team....okay, maybe we don't all know that. The Yellow Blue of FC Dordoi Bishkek have put 19 players on the national team in the last year alone. But while that unity often pays off for national teams with cohesive squad mentalities (see Spain), Dordoi's struggles against reigning champions Aly Osh may have affected their confidence.

What we'll miss: Kyrgyzstan is a 30 point Scrabble word...if only they allowed Proper Nouns! 

119 Allah yisallimak, Oman. 2014 Finish #92 (-27)

All for Al-Habsi

Why they lost: Oman seems to be that perpetual bridesmaid of Asian soccer. Always on the cusp of breaking through, never actually doing it. It may have become part of their whole identity, like the Cubs or the Clippers. They've even begun to shuffle blithely to their doom in smaller contests like the Gulf Cup of Nations. Oman needs a win, a convincing, commanding triumph to get back on track. Perhaps they could host Andorra?

What we'll miss: If Daniel Zeaiter is the future of Goalkeeping, let's take a moment to tip our cap to the past in Ali Al-Habsi whose 118 national team appearances (and track record in the Premiership) have set a lofty standard for his heirs to the gloves in Oman.

118 Jongin, Hong Kong: 2014 Finish: #189 (+71)

Why they lost: In the NCAA tournament field they talk about "signature wins", impressive wins against vaunted opponents. Hong Kong needed one of those. Two scoreless draws against mainland rivals (both athletically as well as socially and politically: China. Against a backdrop of the umbrella revolution and perpetual soft power exertion by Xi Jingping, Hong Kong would have thrilled to beat their overlords opponents, or at least settled for eliminating them from the competition. (Poor perfromances by our next two eliminated squads couldn't even give them that small solace)

What we'll miss: Triumphs for democracy.

117 Annyong hi-Kashipishio, North Korea. 2014 Finish: #133 (+16)

Starting at every position soon....

Why they lost: There's a little bit of pressure on the Thousand Mile Horse (Chollima in Korean). Failure may be met with torture or public shaming. So with victory with less than 10 minutes to see out a victory that would move them on to the final round of qualifying, it is entirely plausible that the pressure got to them in Manila: ceding two late goals and beginning the long, slow march back to Pyongyang.

What we'll miss: Pak Kwang-ryong. The lone North Korean to play in Europe (in the Swiss League)...but I've also struggled to identify where he's playing at present. If you google yourself Kwang-ryong: STOP READING. Run, Run, RUN NOW.

116 Salaam, Jordan. 2014 Finish: #34 (-82)

Why they lost: The Chivalrous had a difficult time putting the ball through in the final third. Take away their shellackings of Bangladesh and their 21 goal outburst shrinks to 9. Part of that may come from the revolving door in the manager's seat since their inter-confederation playoff three years ago. Six coaches including two non-consecutive terms for local Ahmed Abdel-Qader, two ill-fated brits and one hapless Belgian have left a once promising squad adrift and listless.

What we'll miss: The vanishing Jordanian strike force of Abdallah Deeb (pushed back to the midfield) and Mossab al-Laham (uncalled for a year, and stalled out on the club side).

Shooting From the Hip: AFC Second Round

You don't get far in this world playing it cautiously. It's as much a part of the Montana spirit as speed-limit free highways and sales-tax-free beef jerky.

So when it comes to predictions, I'll shoot from the hip. Take a chance when I'm not exactly sure. Be blunt and direct and optimistic when I can be.

The second round of Asian qualifying was announced on Tuesday, and while it won't start for another month and won't end for another year, I figured it was best to make predictions within 48 hours.

The nearly-year long second round, 8 groups of 5 will play home and away. The winners, and the top four runners up, will move on to the final round. (That's where your odds as one team in 2 groups of 6 get a heck of a lot better.)

So who will reach those lofty heights?

Group A: UAE, Saudi Arabia, Palestine, Timor-Leste, Malaysia
Winner: The Saudis have the higher profile and the richer pedigree, but the United Arab Emirates has had the better run of form lately. With probably the softest competition around them, I'd guess Zayed's Sons have the best chance.

Dark Horse: Set aside the geopolitical turmoil and the fact that their leaders seem hell bent on getting Israel kicked out of FIFA, but Palestine likely offers the best chance at an upset. A squad built on non-local players will never coalesce perfectly, but their familiarity with top flight squads (as seen in a trip to the the AFC Cup in January) will serve them well.
***
Group B: Australia, Jordan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Bangladesh
Winner: This isn't quite a tap-in for The Socceroos but it's close. One of the dominant sides in Asia will have no trouble handling the rivals, the only real match to watch will be against Jordan.

A Socceroo tap in

Dark Horse: Speaking of Jordan, "The Chivalrous" have a strong case to make as one of the top sides in West Asia. They've had great fortune against the lesser sides of Asia (which definitely includes the Bangladeshis, Tajiks and Kyrgyzseseses--okay the Kyrgyz no offense meant), and by cutting their teeth in an endless series of friendlies against higher profile foes they'll keep that strength, take their lumps against Australia and move along.
***
Group C: China, Qatar, Maldives, Bhutan, Hong Kong
Winner: Loathe as I am to give them any credit, Qatar has put just about everything they have into developing a team that will match their stadia by 2022. And in case you're wondering, yes that does include pressuring foreigners into service (including Frenchman Dame Traore, Ghanaian Mohammad Muntari and Brazilian Luiz Junior). A strong 2014 was undercut by a truly underwhelming performance in the Asian Cup, but I think they'll be under pressure to get close this cycle--so they don't become the first team since Italy in 1934--the second cup ever--to host a world cup without having played in one before.

Dark Horse: I'm absolutely drinking Bhutan's Kool-Aid, but I don't care. The low profile, lack of film, high altitude home matches and general "do you believe in miracles vibe" makes the land of the Thunder Dragon an easy squad to root for. In the end they'd need to take points at home against both China and Qatar and sweep all matches against Maldives and Hong Kong, but hey, crazier things have happened.
***
Group D: Iran, Oman, India, Turkmenistan, Guam
Winner: With or without the recently departed Carlos Quieroz, Iran's got too much talent to miss out in this group. A debacle during a penalty shoot out at the Asian Cup this January shouldn't distract from the fact that they were easy front runners at the tournament and should be for this one as well. If they put their minds to it, I'm sure that young striking talents like Sardar Azmoun and Karim Ansarfarid could find some salient suggestions for the nuclear deal too.

Go Go Guam!

Dark Horse: Much as I love plumping for India (where I lived and worked for a few years), the baffling dark horse to root for is Guam. The rare American protectorate that actually IS an underdog, Guam garnered big headlines when they drew at higher profile Singapore. A squad filled with American college kids and MLS developmental talents might not do much against even average Asian sides like a dangerous Omani crew. But they are the ultimate dark horse.
***
Group E: Japan, Syria, Afghanistan, Singapore, Cambodia
Winner: It will take a lot for any of these teams to meaningfully challenge Japan. The Blue Samurai got an excellent draw despite a lackluster World Cup and Asian Cup. Still, they're at the top of the Asian standings and even if they don't consistently bring back European based players they should be able to handle these qualification rivals.

Dark Horse: If one of the other four sides can put together a consistent run against the other three they could pull a surprise especially with other second-tier teams (and Japan) playing so inconsistently. At a guess, I'd put money on Singapore which boasts a young squad with some internationally based players and more who work together at Lions XII bringing cohesion and confidence into the mix (not to mention avoiding the ...but when you lose to Guam...my whole confidence is undermined.
***
Group F: Iraq, Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia, Chinese Taipei
Winner: Credit where it's due, Iraq consistently makes the best of an unusual and often trying situation. They've played the top teams in Asia very closely and make a habit of taking lower-ranked rivals seriously. A few foreign based players (including the Columbus Crew's Justin Meram) show continued promise and growth.

From Left to Right: Chanathip Songkrasin and Kroekrit Thawikan

Dark Horse: The biggest challenge for Iraq will be the frequent long-distance hauls to South East Asia. So the question for a dark horse will be any team who can boast a difficult home environment (to steal a win against the favorites) and real sway over regional rivals. By that standard Thailand is your most likely nominee (just winning the South East Asia Suzuki Cup, boasting a young and growing squad, consistent at home), but that's not anything I'd wager heavily on.
***
Group G: Korea Republic, Kuwait, Lebanon, Myanmar, Laos
Winner: Korea is still one of the preeminent powers in Asian football, perpetual status as bridesmaid's not withstanding. Their growing influence in Europe doesn't hurt matters, world cup qualification is now expected and the rivals here won't slow that down.

Dark Horse: Right now the hottest team for fans of Asian underdogs is Bhutan, but Lebanon was pulling the Cinderella story during the 2014 cycle. They're back again against two teams they beat on the road during the last set of qualifiers, higher regarded Kuwait and Korea. Though it ended with whimper in the final round of qualifying, the Cedars stood tall, and while Kuwait's a more likely runner-up/qualifier. Lebanon is still where my loyalty lies.
***
Group H: Uzbekistan, Bahrain, Philippines, DPR Korea, Yemen
Winner: The Uzbeks have long been a favorite of this blog. After all there's a strong corps of players being augmented by solid youth talents from a growing domestic league. They were in the hunt for a World Cup Spot until the final weeks of the last cycle, and they played well in the Asian Cup this January. Sure their president might be a nut job who made his daughters pop stars, ambassadors, corporate honchos, heirs apparent to the presidency, and then (at least in one case) political prisoners. But still, how 'bout that team, eh?

At least he didn't name them manager

Dark Horse: Maybe it's that they're the only reasonable country in the group. Maybe it's that their nickname is "the Street Dogs". Maybe it's that I'm afraid of Manny Pacquiao. But I feel like the Philippines might be poised for a surprising finish. Bahrain and Korea are both on the slide and Yemen is in turmoil while the Philippines has seen steady results and, in goal keeper Neil Ethridge, boast the only Chelsea trainee in the whole group.

***
12 Teams advancing to third Round (** signifies Top 4 runner up)
UAE
Australia
**Jordan
Qatar
Iran
Japan
Iraq
**Thailand
South Korea
**Kuwait
Uzbekistan
**The Philippines

Well I'll Be Damned! 2018 Kickoff

We're two short weeks away from the kickoff of World Cup 2018 Qualifying, and as such, it's time to reignite one of my favorite features to write during World Cup Qualification "Well I'll Be Damned" (WIBD) for short.

WIBD is a quick way to give some press to the least known and most easily forgotten teams in qualification, the squads for whom winning a match would be a high point in their national history, for whom qualifying for the finals is the stuff of intense day dreams, and for whom actually winning the cup would signify certifiable delusions.

Since the Road to Russia/Miles to Moscow/Long Haul to Luzhnki starts in Asia, that's where our WIBD profiles will start too, with the lowest ranked team in the whole cup: Bhutan

The Druk 11, as they're known in Bhutan, have a pretty paltry history in international soccer events. The 2018 tournament will mark their first foray into the World Cup. They haven't played a game at all in the last 18 months (a 5-2 loss to Sri Lanka in September 2013). And now they're set to face those same Lankan Lions in their first ever qualifying matches.

Given the absurd altitude in the land of the Thunder Dragon, the national squad might be able to develop some tremendous endurance. But given the lack of financial opportunities for football players in Bhutan (the game is often given up by kids once they discover more exciting/profitable things...like math), players tend to have a hard time developing the skill sets to keep up with their other AFC counterparts.

Ranked 209th in the world and with an historical goal differential of -185, the odds are most definitely stacked against Bhutan. They've never drawn so much as a point against Sri Lanka, and in 15 matches against them they have scored exactly twice.

Still I'm optimistic. Maybe it's the fact that anything can happen. Maybe it's the fact that Changlimithang Stadium is at 7,600 feet above sea level 1500 feet below the insurmountable Quito in Ecuador. Maybe it's the fact that I taught the former son of the Bhutanese FA and am still hoping I can get a national team jersey. But come on, let's face facts. Bhutan is a rising power, ten years after beatin gMonserrat they could easily beat the world.

Happy Trails #207-197

There are 207 Fifa Member Nations. The World Cup format invites 32. That means that 175 countries will have to bite the dust long before a ball bounces around Brazil. So, from time to time we'll post blogs like this, keeping you up to date on the teams that have just been eliminated, thereby quashing the fevered dreams of young boys and old men who really really thought that this could be Macau, or Vanuatu, or Canada's year.

There are a few countries that decided not to compete this time around, so rather than bid them adieu we'll do the proper Montanan thing and simply nod silently in stoic acknowledgement of their presence (or lack thereof). So here's a quiet, two fingers up on the steering wheel salute to you Guam (207), Brunei Darussalam (206), and Bhutan (205).

Now let's say goodbye to the teams who tried, and failed, to advance and acknowledge just what we fans will miss without them.

204 "Jongin" Macau

Why they lost: Macau got--there's really no polite way to say this--decimated by Vietnam. 6-0 and 7-1, leaving Macau with a -13 goal difference in two matches. I'm not an expert or anything, but losing by 13 goals in the first round makes it hard to win the World Cup.

Who/What we'll miss: Besides the loosest slots in all Asia? Probably Chan Kin Seng Macau's leading goal scorer despite the fact that he's only played 21 matches for the local side.

203 "Hau ba lai" Timor Leste

Why they lost: It's not easy to win a home and away series when both of the matches are played in your opponents capital. Hence, though the "Rising Sun" made a strong showing in the first match (2-1), the second one (5-0) was just too much and the team has still never won an official match against another national side.

Who/What we'll miss: The Portuguese heritage means that Timor Leste has a deep connection to two futbol mad nations (Portugal & Brazil). The most promising young player is probably defender Chris Nunez who plays for a club in Australia and has scored a goal for the national team

202 "Poittu Varen" Sri Lanka

Why they lost: Despite a solid 1-1 draw in Columbo; Sri Lanka could not muster another result in Manila and fell to the Philippines 5-1 on aggregate.

Who/What we'll miss: Sri Lanka may not have any famous players, but they do have one of the coolest flags in the world. Seriously, it's a lion holding a sword! Lions themselves are intimidating, but lions armed with weaponry? Jeepers

201 "Khuda Hafiz" Pakistan

Why they lost: A hard fought 0-0 draw against Bangladesh (aka East Pakistan) wasn't bad, but it could not make up for a 3-0 loss in Dhaka in the first leg.

Who/What we'll miss: There are a few Pakistani players starting to make inroads in to the lower levels of British football, but the biggest loss has to be Pakistan's Federation Emblem. Yes the Green shirts might have my favorite logo of all the flaming footballs of DOOM!!!

200 "Khuda Hafez" Afghanistan

Why they lost: Leaving aside the larger geopolitical issue of trying to field a futbol team while simultaneously fighting insurgent terrorist groups for control of a nation; Afghanistan was already in a hole after losing 2-0 to Palestine in Tajikstan (not exactly home either). A solid 1-1 draw in Palestine was some solace, but not enough to win the day.

Who/What we'll miss: With some national team players as young as 19, our biggest loss is the story of young boys who came of age in a very different nation, survived an incredibly dangerous period and now are thriving young athletes. Maybe, 2018 will give them that shot.

199 "Lia Suhn Hao-y" Cambodia

Why they lost: The Angkor Warriors may be the biggest surprise loser in the first round of AFC qualifying. After a 4-2 win over Laos in Pehnom Penh, they seemed to have a great shot of moving on to face China. But in Laos they not only lost the match 6-2, but the series on an 8-6 aggregate score.

Who/What we'll miss: There's not much notable about Cambodia's squad, but they do have a record of firing coaches. They've gone through 5 in the last 3 years...including 2 who never seem to have coached an official match....crazy coaching carousels, always enjoyable.

198 "Bayarti" Mongolia

Why they lost: The blue wolves won 1-0 at home...but that margin never feels exactly safe and sure enough, after Myanmar won 2-0 in Myanmar (stupid Junta!), Mongolia was headed home empty handed.

Who/What we'll miss: No Mongolian player plies their trade with a foreign club, and no without them sticking around for more matches this will be our last chance to say some absolutely exquisite names, such as: "Bayasgalangiin Garidmagnai" and "Donorovyn Lkhumbengarav"...however you pronounce them, that's a lot of fun.

197 Chinese Taipei

Why they lost: Taipei, Taiwan, whatever you want to call it, they were close...SO CLOSE to sneaking into the next round. A 2-1 lost in Malaysia wasn't great, but a stirring comeback on home soil gave them a great win 3-2 to end the series. The down side? Because Malyasia scored 2 in Taiwan, Malaysia went on and Taiwan stayed home.

Who/What we'll miss: No Chinese Taipei, no chance to show up China...sad days, sad days...

So there went the first 11, before the month is out we're going to lose 15 more Asian teams and 5 Caribbean islands; we'll bid them farewell soon enough, but for now goodnight Asian nations, and goodluck.